Parent Struggle's
 

I always have these constant struggles
With me and my parents we have our troubles

They dont understand the way I am
They dont understand I'm not changing who I am

They yell at me for stupid shit
All I hear when I come home is them throw a fit

They tell me one thing and yell at me for another
They allways yell at me, why not my brother

I'm getting blamed for my sibblings problems
Why can't you yell at them

I don't think you understand that what you say,
Is not keeping me here it's just pushing me away

I know you love me
But why cant you just let me be

Your getting on my case everyday
Yelling at me for stupid shit in everyway

You can't keep me with you all the time
You'll have to go you know sometime

You need to relax
And maybe you'll relize that and get off my back

I love you guys you know I do
But sometimes you need to think before you do

Just remember I'm a growing man
And right now I'm just living life the best that i can

*HOT ICE

the feeling and point of the poem came through nice, it was clear right from the opening lines what the poem was involved with which was good, but i feel the vocab was quite simple and maybe more sosphicated vocabs, better line structure and more emotion would make this a great piece

a nice read PpEeAaCcEe

reply to others and you will get replies...
theres rules to follow in this forum and the others...
this will be reopened once you think your not special...

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK CRAVEN

I always have these constant struggles
With me and my parents we have our troubles
AMEN hot we all do i dont think you can call a person a parent unless this happens i mean thats what there there for and thats why we eventually realize what it was they were arguing with us for
They dont understand the way I am
They dont understand I'm not changing who I am
repetitive trying to get your point across not bad but not the most efficient way of doing it
They yell at me for stupid shit
All I hear when I come home is them throw a fit
again i hate cussing in poetry unless it fits n flows through the emotion THIS didnt if i were your english professor id give you an e for effort and then send you to teh speacil ed room


I know you love me
But why cant you just let me be
AMEN times 2 lol i wish this everyday of my being! and u think they ever get it >NO!

Your getting on my case everyday
Yelling at me for stupid shit in everyway
CUSSING again not neccesary at this point in time altho emotion is building


You need to relax
And maybe you'll relize that and get off my back
keep hoping but its prolly neva gonna happen its therir way of showing you *they care* ( as if weve never heard that b4)

I love you guys you know I do
But sometimes you need to think before you do
DO WAHT? i felt that was left empty

Just remember I'm a growing man

and they are trying to help you just let it take its course but not to extremities
And right now I'm just living life the best that i can

Simple. Very simple. It had a constant and subtle recurring theme to it. You didn't over elaborate. You just put down what is going on. Your emotions and thoughts. In a plain and simple manner. Which was effective. Very effective actually.

There were of course parts which seemed akward in flow. And overall a bit too simple. But the piece seemed like one of those which were never going to be executed in that sense.

...resp...

thanks varentao
i was just trying to make it simple

I know just what you are going through Hot Ice. I have the same problems with my parents. They need to release there grip on you a little or its going to rip you and your parents apart. You may think its bad now, just wait until something really drastic happens and it rips your family apart in 3 different directions. Believe me Hot Ice, its not fun at all. All I can say it just try to reason with them and see if they will lighten up some.

MM

Maybe I am wrong but i believe those feelings were pretty
fresh when you wrote this because i think you were too upset
in order to write this well, not meaning its not good but it could
have been better. Usually raw emotion might sometimes be too
much at the time to really focus on how you feel to write it out to
people so that they may really feel much empathy for you. your
structure was lacking on some parts and not on others..
FAVORITE LINE...
"They tell me one thing and yell at me for another
They always yell at me, why not my brother"

I have three brothers and two sisters so i can really relate. But
just by changing a few words the whole piece could be much
better. Try to proof read before you post, you might bet better
results. Keep Writing.