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-   -   Indescribable Feeling (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=176857)

Dabatos 02-13-05 12:00 PM

Indescribable Feeling
 
Indescribable Feeling

11:07 P.M.


My friends tell me how I feel, but only what I say is reliable..
But this feeling I’ve never held, It’s just too indescribable..
I try and try my best to get over her, but never succeed..
The feel of her presence I need, she’s the air that I breathe..
Without her in my life, I’d might as well die of suffocation…
To hold her tight, and never let go, had to become a temptation..
When by her side, I seem to get endless feelings of butterflies..
I lover her sexy voice, I love her sexy smile, I love her sexy eyes…
There’s nothing about her, that I can never keep my mind off of..
So perfect, that she’s an angel that came from the heaven up above…
After feeling the indescribable, I realized that it has a name…
But I must not say, because even she would tell me that its insane..
For of those that has felt this feeling, then tell me what it is?
Because, without her in my life, I just can’t seem to just live..

2.12.05

-Dabatos

Dabatos 02-13-05 07:35 PM

Uppin for feedback

KaNg kOrRuPt 02-14-05 10:32 PM

i'm just starting to read these poems so i'm not really good at judging them, yeah but i think my favorite part of the poem was the last two lines, i just think you need to get deeper with what it is you're feelin and bring out more emotion into your poem instead of "i need you" stuff. but that's just my opinion. i liked it though.

Dabatos 02-15-05 08:53 AM

Appreciate the feedback..........

Dabatos 02-23-05 08:14 PM

upping for more


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