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Indephz (0-0) vs. Macca (1-0)
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. All Battlers must vote on 4 other battles and leave their voting links in their battle thread. Battles voted on may be from either poetry or topical battles. If vote threads aren't in your poetry battle thread by sunday you will suffer a loss by Disqualification. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Drakel, Drama Queen & Elementality). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be Disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Every battler must nominate (not their own) one topical and poetry battle for pieces of the week, in the main forum . People with pieces of the week shall have their drops stickied and placed in the Pieces Of Inspiration sub forum Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! New rule: first to get 3 votes wins by KO Your Topic: Unknown Impact |
I'm checkin in.
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Checking in..... shit.....
I might need more time. :) |
Unknown Impact The sun slept,hours ago.My rest is in session. Before blowing cigerrete smoke,detector's defected. Little did I know,the index and middle finger is clinchin' it. renderin the flame to shift with the wind,flickerin' little flicks. baby embers sparked a picture, the fire's on an adventrue. slipping off the photo,onto the fireplace cinder......... No fire is birth,but an unlikely occurance,quietly urgant. Carbon Dioxide arrivin' and workin.Inside of my nose bridge. I'm still sleep I don't notice,but I'm dreaming I'm sufficating. my lungs is pacing eroticaly,I wake up,oh shit I gotta breath. I gotta bring my pace up..............the windows are sealed. I'm struggling to much,so my bones couldn'tve broke the seal. I feel like a seal, on land for more then a hour,I scream and squeel. I need to feel...this need for air,my knees despair,nobody's aware. My eye's is tint,the brightness dims.My brittle bones close. There goes my defence.It kind of shifts,from a fight..Till a guy that is kind of sick.My screams changing now.It erases sound. I'm fadin out........................................... |
Monique was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life it was on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs and parties; she was so happy. It's just the way she wanted her life to be. On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!" To be known in this school you had to have a clout, And dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well, I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?" Monique asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right." Excited, she got ready for the big event But as she rushed around like she had no sense, She began to feel guilty about all the lies; But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great. But the moonlight ride would have to wait, For Jeff was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoke and Jeff took a puff. Monique couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Jeff was ready to ride to the point, But only after he'd smoked another joint. They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, And Jeff started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Monique wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football). "Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb." With all of her might, she pushed Jeff away: "Please take me home, I don't want stay." Jeff cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Jeff drove on in a fit of wild anger, Monique knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town. "Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride." Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh, God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, And heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!" Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then wondered to herself if Jeff was all right, And if the people in the other car were alive. She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head, As they gently told her that Jeff was dead. They said "Monique, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you, too." "But the people in the other car?" Monique cried. "We're sorry, Monique, they also died." Monique prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done I only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, And wish I could return their families to them. Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?" The nurse just stood there--she never agreed But took Monique's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Monique died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best To bid that girl her one last request?" She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad." This story is sad and unpleasant but true. So young people, take heed. It could have been you. |
OMFG!!!
Macca _ Congardualations Man I Think that You Take This One I Was reading Your Drop and all the way through I was thinking oh another Teen Wreck Storyline With The Basics to it But then I come to find out that The person that she wrecked with was here parents?.....OMFG That Was Bad ....Intellegent ....LOL oh I Cant find the right word to fit it But Ya Shit was Great Man I Think you Take this Indephz- Very short stroyline comin from you I Wasnt really Goin with it from the start I Think you couldve done better considering the topic That was given But hey I Guess you Rushed atleast It Seem Like So My V/ Macca |
1ndeph : Rather short but you had fantastic imagery, a simple yet effective approach at this topic. At times it didn't rhyme; which I know you probably did on purpose for a greater impact. But it just damaged you're whole flow, which set you back a category..
Overall - 45/100. Macca : Ok, very generic vocabulary, simple storyline. You had a longer verse which puts you at a advantage. I felt some lines weren't constructed in the correct context, and quite a few lines seemed forced as fuck. But, you did have decent emotion and imagery and I felt you dropped a little harder than you're opponent.. Overall - 55/100. |
^yea, the longer verse does put you at an advantaage...both prolly coodve been improved slightly, but this battle was pretty close, if macca wooda dropped a shorter verse i think indeph wooda got it, but becuase of thsi macca gets it in my opinion
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Closed, Macca wins this one
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