Train Tracks
 

Train Tracks.

A jaded location, faded but to the tracks I was enraptured
Because if the image is distorted, sometimes the message isn’t captured
A thin dew, laced the tracks, faced with that the rails offered as canvas
With a mattress of support..
..not taught, but naturally, nature understands this
Unplanned bliss, a sensation of an untouched creation
Over the tracks formed a crescent of vibrant green plantation
A pure vacation, and even as an infant, so fickle and blind
The night entwined shadows, with shapes to trickle my mind
Refined as a recluse, to produce a place I could call my domain
That place on a simple plain but far from simple and plain
Was I insane?..
..More obsessed, possessed with the feeling it was blessed
And as the day past the night thought me it was ok to be depressed
It relieves stress, this place offered hostility in cool breaths
I use to flirt with the trains..
..Testing God’s ability of death, but what’s left?
Times changed people are deranged now, they weren’t to begin
Nature is beautiful, humans are beautiful on the outside, but ugly within
So I couldn’t hold it in, depressed I need to confess, it nearly killed me
Cause the innocent ones in crime can be the ones left feeling guilty
.
.
An ordinary night, no longer bright as the clouds swallowed the sky
Coached in my favorite spot, viewing heaven but caught hell in my eye
The air was dry, so I could focus on two outlines in the distance
A girl forcing with resistance, but a man out powering with persistence
In an instance, the man striked her with a blow no one could defend
My tongue hit the back of my throat as my spine stood on end
I couldn’t lend help, he kept hitting, testing his physical fitness
As I was forced to pay attention to murder, as a silenced witness
What’s sick is, my minds twisted and I can’t go back
And my wife wants a reason why our kids can’t visit the train tracks
The pain attacks me everyday, for that young girl a sit and pray
And make a promise to my wife, our children ill never let astray.

yo people atleast give me some feedback, cummmon ya'll

Something tells me you probably haven't written this, due to the stupidity you're showing: "yoyoyo let get feed cummmmmoooon yall!' Which most poets shouldn't do, unless they're just lazy --- or truly 'ghetto poets', which is really an oxymoron.

But, good poem anyway. 8/10. Because I said so.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^hes right

yo kein witz.. i personally know ric b and i know for a fact that he did right this cuz he takes mad poetry shit in school but hes still gutta ya heard?? but yo ric this shit was locked down tight.. i can tell you realivin stress wit this one cuz ya got mad emotion.. 8/10 .. peAce1

Probably because he DIDNT write it...

Judge or "K" from RB did..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199174

^thats the original.

damn ric, what the fuck is this bullshit?? thanks for that proof hopes

wait a min. mayne that shit was posted like a day ago, ric posted his at the same time.... so whos realy bitin ??

^^ You dont see the post that K made saying he will be banned.?.........

Who says he didnt write it? Got ne proof? I'm an all around writer and I liv in an English council estate, ne1 can do nefin if they got the brains, the xperience and the inspiriation.

Neway I liked it not 2 lyrical but was deep and lyrical enuf 4 me. Used multis well and ur flow was almost consistant throughout. Saw a cuple of times where it was a bit off.

eg. "..More obsessed, possessed with the feeling it was blessed
And as the day past the night thought me it was ok to be depressed"

but keep it up it was nice.
Peace

The proof is in the links, the time dropped, and since this K has 12,000 posts, he's probably less likely to bite from someone with 33, because 1. it'd be a waste if he got banned for it, and 2. we can look at his other drops and see if they have the same structure and whatnot.

Biting poetry for god's sake...how are you ever going to get better if you're stealing from the person infront of you[and getting banned]?

thats cool, hate on him for posts? its a new name for him, hes been on here for longer than i have... im takin rics side on this shit.. yall think cuz ya vets ya can walk ova newbs, not happenin.

You're taking his side when the evidence is overwhelming?

If he's been here longer, and we don't know his alias, then he can just get back on that or make a new one. If he has that few posts, he could get them back in no time.

Siding with him because he's your friend is a stupid move.

yo man, i dont care bout him gettin a new alias, i know he wrote it... its a matter of respect, not fuckin names or posts, hes jus a victim of circumstance.