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Boomerang of Pain..
Your touch is equal to heaven and hell colliding, your kisses desired but decieving keep me surviving for u to hold im striving however, love for my soul i am depriving.. anxiety torchers my sanity your vanity is overwhelmed by your beauty that attracts the man in me ...I sit here confused though mentally and emotionally abused i still feel a tremendous love for u.. maybe i deserve to hurt..because everytimes i escape the pain i come back to u ...to suffer again..again and again i ask my self why me? i look at my deeds and try to see is it me? where did i go wrong? my soul parts with the crypt, as my heart skips to the same song...a broken record.. well in these times a scarred cd depicts me... as soon as i sense the ending its back to the beginning.. |
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Hmmmmm kid i like your style. Nice emotion expressing here. Nice flow here and there. Imaginary needs to be upped. Vocab needs to be upped. But great coming from the angle of emotion, keep writing. |
hanx.....................
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good flow, and vocab in some parts, i liked your style though it seemed like you could have wrote some deeper lines, some deep thoughts, could have been portrayed better, but overall, i thought this was a good poem..keep droppping
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word i think the vocabulary was nice upp until you got towards the middle you fell and slowed it down a little,which a poem should be on the same level of pace and moods..nice rhyme scheme...overall a nice peace man
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wo shyt is ill man.. i understand excatly whats going on in the poem.. shyt really hit home with me.. good drop man
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thanx man uppin....
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