True Lies
 

Frontlines disapearing like houdini trapped in chains/
How many soldiers is this money hungry war gonna claim/
Sick and tired like the tiger that Roy couldn't tame/
This day by day guerilla is well maintained/
Easily soldiers get caught slippin and get slained/
As da world turns, da bush administration sits back sniffn kokane/
The war & kombat hasn't ended see, its saddam's turn to reign/
Slowly, tipi towing, missiles come out blowin napalm/
We got some crazy ass arabs down for islam/
Ready to do anything for a ticket to paradise/
The price is right for the death toll that rises high like a gian tide/
Sand monkeys don't surf, they blast coming out of sand or turf/
Jumping out of nowhere, where could they be/
Its insane to not no your enemy/
Could be a little girl with an m-16 blasting while g'i's are nappin/
Guns start clappin, rumsfeld starts yappin" Its a part of war"/
So shit happens, heart breaks to the soldier's families/
Snakeyes flows what he see's that got the whole forum like arabs saluting allah cruched in glass on all yall bare knees/

first of all this would be good as an audio,
flow and structure and flow were consistent,
apart from the last line,
which was a little stretched, you should of tried something like:

so shit happens, heartbreaks to the soldiers families,
snakeyes speaks the truth,flows what he sees,
got you like arabs saluting allah on their bare knees,
cant we forget the beef,and increace the peace,

^ just a quick example, but you get what i mean,

try and add a few internals and multis if you can ,but dont force it,
overall not bad, just work at it,

peace

Yeah i would like to hear it audio..it had good flow and wordchoice..let me know if you can get it in audio..aight piece

honestly.. i don't really know what to say.. i agree wit rob d on your last line, but everything else is aight tho---even tho those bastards did what they did to us i personally don't agree with the racial comments..i guess you kinda needed them tho because when you read it you can feel that emotion and realness.

nice topic you picked...
your flow was pretty good, using a basic rhyme scheme though.
vocab was ok, you should improve on your vocab... it impresses
your readers and helps promote your complexity... work on this,
dont stretch any lines to get what you want it to say... keep the
same flow and structure... but overall this was nice...
~AshY~