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Deception Vs. K.onfliktz
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Desired Dreams |
ch ch checkin In...and thats word..
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Chezck out ma melodie
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l-Introduction-l ..Dreams Fallen, Angels Callin', Body Motionless, Killer?, Unknown.. ..Life, Sweet Like Pollen, Spirit Crawlin' Makin Way To it's New Home.. ..Mother Home Early, Worried, Walked In, No, That's Her Second Son Buried.. ..Vision Blury, Blackin Out, Why Did The Lord Need 'em in such a Hurry!?.. ..Eyes Locked, On A Certain Spot, A Brief Letter, Covered With Red Dots.. ..Shocked, She Walked, Stomache Tied In Knots, Brain Blank, No Thoughts.. ..She Picked Up The Note Suspicious, These were My Desired Wishes.. l-My Desired Wishes-l ..Wished To Sign A Contract To The Charlotte Bob Cats, Naww, NY Knicks.. ..I Need A good career, To support My Wife And Two Intelligent Kids.. ..My Mother And I arent Speaking, But I wish Her The Best Success.. ..Father Passed, Car Accident, Hopefully This 20 G Should ease Her Stress.. ..Im Soon To Be With The Lord, Fucked Up Drug Deal, Turned Into Turf War.. ..Death Certified Soon, But If It's My Destiny, Then I Shall Come Forth.. ..Send About 100,000 To Charity, Build School's In Africa, Education They Lack.. ..Find My Long Lost Brother, Give Him My Car, Although He wont be easy to track.. ..Pray My Children Dont Go Out like I Do, Better Off They make Their mother the idol.. ..Thought about poppin pills to ease the pain, But couldn't go out suicidal.. ..Shit! Someones Entering The Condo, Imma settle this mono-O-Mono.. ..If I Dont Return Tell My Kids I Love Them, Imma Kill This Nigga in Kon's-Home.. |
l-Introduction-l ..Dreams Fallen, Angels Callin', Body Motionless, Killer?, Unknown.. ..Life, Sweet Like Pollen, Spirit Crawlin' Makin Way To it's New Home.. ..Mother Home Early, Worried, Walked In, No, That's Her Second Son Buried.. ..Vision Blury, Blackin Out, Why Did The Lord Need 'em in such a Hurry!?.. ..Eyes Locked, On A Certain Spot, A Brief Letter, Covered With Red Dots.. ..Shocked, She Walked, Stomache Tied In Knots, Brain Blank, No Thoughts.. ..She Picked Up The Note Suspicious, These were My Desired Wishes.. l-My Desired Wishes-l ..Wished To Sign A Contract To The Charlotte Bob Cats, Naww, NY Knicks.. ..I Need A good career, To support My Wife And Two Intelligent Kids.. ..My Mother And I arent Speaking, But I wish Her The Best Success.. ..Father Passed, Car Accident, Hopefully This 20 G Should ease Her Stress.. ..Im Soon To Be With The Lord, Fucked Up Drug Deal, Turned Into Turf War.. ..Death Certified Soon, But If It's My Destiny, Then I Shall Come Forth.. Send About 100 G To Charity, Build School's In Africa, Education They Lack.. ..Find My Lost Brother, Give Him My Car, Although He wont be easy to track.. ..Pray My Children Dont Go Out like me, Betta Off They Their mother the idol.. ..Thought about poppin pills to ease the pain, But couldn't go out suicidal.. ..Shit! Someones Entering The Condo, Imma settle this mono-O-Mono.. If I Dont Return Tell My Kids I Luv Them, Imma Kill This Nigga in Kon's-Home |
Desired Dreams Pandora's box inflicted humans with pain unseen But gave us hope to live, hope to obtain a dream So I cherish them, adorn them with sashes When they die, like a pheonix, reborn from ashes But I go ballistic when my thoughts are too materialistc But desire binds my mind, caught in a human instinct Ice-wristed, gold fisted, oppulence round my neck My luck struck provinding 7 zeroes on my check Every night a different sex partner, then barter Make collabos with pros, friend of S.Carter A Benz, a Caddy, 28s dance on my Hummer Wheels No need to be tense, without my consent, fans pay my water bills But do I really want the Midas touch of gold It troubles me that money seemingly bought ma soul But deep down his greedy heart has a needy part A companion to to hold ma hand and understand my empty heart So our souls could join and consumate happiness Her shining lights might would eliminate the darkness Bu these dreams, these desired dreams, do they come true Or will I remain in the dark, waiting for the light to come through |
I have to go with K no hate, but urs sounded more like poetry homes and I felt his more, he had more emotion in his topical and his strucutre was good, his opener is what I liked and I enjoyed reading it. But no hate tho homes just try lookin for vocab to stretch out more but u had it on some things then u lost me but k kept me all the way through it.
vt/ k |
.K.onfliktz: vocab was tight, found good balance because it was understandable but not too basic.Structure was nice,made it easier to read. Here and there some internal rhyming which improved your flow, feeling that. The emotion was definately there,I like how you twisted it to the death-thing and the reaction of the mother was worded so good.Nice creativity,imagery was goodbut your best aspect was the emotion for sure...
d-cËpt!0n: you had an open ending which I love because it makes the readers think about what'll happen next.The vocab,flow and structure were straight to the point. Had some nice wordplay in it and the emotion was very good to in fact. Bu these dreams, these desired dreams, do they come true Or will I remain in the dark, waiting for the light to come through ^as I already said, I loved the ending... Close battle but in the end my vote goes to .K.onfliktz because I felt he had the stronger emotion in his verse but both did a very good job though! No hate...keep at it! DQ |
One loss be nuthing If i did ma best at it. It was nice battlin u .K. onflictz i agree with all those votes up there. Nice goin yo. Anywayz just felt like i needed 2 sai dat.
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i have respect for you. because you didnt act like a bitch if someone wins they'll know it. you had a good verse aswell.
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voting
yo i give it to K. he had a good personality and vocabulary was a little better and structure. D-ception had a great opener closer that kept ya thinking and some good emotion but gotta give it to k for the expression and the vocabulary man...big ups to both kats n if ya need more ill hit ya up
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word word dope votes.....
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You spit 19 lines. Which is one line under the minimum...
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wow u actualli caught that...
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I'm the mod... I catch a lot of stuff.
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