Feel Me
 

Life is not a game man,
but if it is gettin money is the game plan
niggas gain bodys from words like hang man
shit strange man ,obamas the president but like bums im still needin change man
why the fuck did he get elected
life is harder than a dick arrected
i got alot on my chest like im big breasted
real niggas dont get arrested
i spit ill my shits infested
lifes a bitch shits about to get domestic
sometimes i wanna just connect my head with the smith and wesson
niggas testin ,me like this shits a lesson
pray to god everyday im wonderin when ima get a blesson
my dream is to be a rapper but i only can fantasize
cause niggas dont feel my words like they paralyze


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3281599
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3281600

This sucks.

There is no originality in it, there is no creativity in it and you should be ashamed you actually had to sit down and use your brain to write somthing like this. You have spelling mistakes, no structure, simple rhyme scheme and nothing AT ALL creative. its short and just all around sucks. Your bars dont even equal out, if youc an call them bars. Up your game, I usually close peices like this but if your gonna post again, UP YOUR TEXT GAME.

best line

my dream is to be a rapper but i only can fantasize
cause niggas dont feel my words like they paralyze


Best rhyme
smith and wesson .. shits a lesson.

worst line
life is harder than a dick arrected
i got alot on my chest like im big breasted

worst rhyme
hang man ... change man

You Had A Good Meta In Here Kind Of A Basic Vocab Though A Little Bit Of Multi's Here And There..Just Get Some New Vocab Man...Also Your Structure Was Meh....Some Of The Lines Sound Forced, It's A Big Thing When You Rap Something Text Will Get More Criticism Because We Don't Feel The Beat Or Here Feel The Lines Being Put Together Like In Audio

Just checked your links. From now on leave proper feedback in order to have your links considered valid.

i thought it was ok compared to the music u make (no hate) def getting better though

Vocab means shit anyways dont listen to these morons. But blah, try not to focus so much on compound syllable rhyming and try to have more creativity and meaning in your lines. Like the big breasted line? Awful