dizee rascal vs m.c iggy
read rules link is here new rules added
TOPIC-MY COUNTRY |
checking in this
|
Checking in lets get this topic!
|
My country
The gallapoing giraffes neglecting the internal rain But sensed an abyss of honour falling , screaming Slotting in, stomping pattering, On the windows of the magestic meadows mercyful But the pollenate purple combined with dullness Unable to portray pefect pictures on lifes mantel But carefully caressing memories to the present Slotting in stomping pattering Slowly the images progress of sun filled politics The court of dishonour clutching lies to their chest Ravashing ravens at their eyes for their corrupt Disputing of neglegence like debatable ignorance Slotting in stomping pattering The sun fades as moon emerges reflecting paths As the system governs yet another countrys crash. |
PLEASE READ THIS
Let me get a few things str8 before im critised for them There is no meter fru out which represents theres no pattern in society The only punctuation is at the end, this is to show it can be ended, but right now, it isnt happening The onomatopeia is cus im being told whats happening in my life but i cant actually feel it The couplet at end emphasises the problem EZ |
the stripes on the magnificent flag sway in the air
representing a country of freedom and democracy created by the intellectually gifted founding fathers in 1776 through the ages, this beautiful country has become a power unlike no other with a wealthy economy and educated people every morning i wake up, i look at the flag say the pledge of allegence and smile proudly admitting, that i am an american |
both had a different view on this i thin cuz DR was talkin sumthin very different and i thin his verse was full with so much vocab and creativity that he got my vote both of u did good but MC verse was very simple no creativity no vocabulary really nothing good there except that u stayed on topic but DR got tha vote for having everythin good from the structure, vocab, and creativity he had it all so good job to both of yall and keep doin ya thing aight
v/DR |
Yo yeah very different pieces....dizzee gets my vote....because of the vocab and creativity....specially poems need creativity and i think MC missed that....well done
|
vote/ Dizee
Reasoning: It was a poem, with lots of imagery which is one of the two main aspects of poetry (other being emotion), and the many different forms you used together worked great in your piece.. MC you basically just wrote a little passage. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:29 AM. |