This verse here......
 

A verse i did. Im leavin the rest of the story out, so take what u can from it.


He saw em comin like chicken and flipped a bitch
German engineerin my ass, he clipped a ditch
And flipped the six
Between his, the bitches blood and the blow it left a cryptic mix
Evidence was needles fully loaded, tips drip with fix
Jaw wired in the hospital, its his lip that clicks
Like Starvin Marvin, often off in
A high searchin for the only lost endorphin
Hes past hittin the weed but I watched him coughin
He said, save him the money, buy an auctioned coffin
"Deaths waitin by my side, my only option off'rin
Hell or here", grabs a tape, says "This my last accapella here
Put it on one of ya beats, buy your ass some Belvedere"
I ask which to spill for him, I can trade the Bel for 'Clear
Saw him turn red faced, but he held the tear
Ignorin visions of him leavin waitin till his health appeared
But thats hopin against hope
And if he dies out of respect, Ill blow more sherm and less coke
Tie the hemp to firm the best rope
Thinkin I can make it to heaven when it aint my turn but lets hope

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KIlluminatic..................

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Ay, I'm feelin this verse...nice multies...structure was pretty nice...topic was kinda deep...

Overall...8.5/10

Return tha favor

yeah i was feelin' this, i could relate to this well.
nice flow, very personal.

guess who this is?

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some decent vocab but you gotta work on
maintaining a good structure throughout ya
verse, keep you lines equal in syllable counts
that will help the flow, try to work on your bars
instead of just writing them n leaving them,
a lil more work and you could had some koo shit
in that verse, just think outside the box man
i was thinkin this is more a topical verse....

.
i thought this couldve been koo...:(good concept)
.

He said, save him the money, buy an auctioned coffin
"Deaths waitin by my side, my only option off'rin
.
bodies dropin to save money, but youve seen my britle coffin
death awaits by me honey, i wish you could move so i could off-him
.
^^add more wordplay and a better ryhme scheme...
hope this helps, hit up my drop, its just for laughs

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