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Invasion of disease
They are not wanted..
But enter in herds of millions Animal charecteristics.. Ugly, a disgrace to humanity Draining and painful.. Polluting our colourful streets A dull cloudy disgrace.. Removes childhood memorys Cant they stop now.. If only the authority existed Built border barriers.. If only the infection was removed Live long we would.. . . ..PATRIOTICALLY |
Polluting our colourful streets
A dull cloudy disgrace.. perfect imagary.. i loved it |
up................
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4 feedbacks atty :cool:
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Go reply to two piece man, I wont close it cuz I just asked you to post but ya... Just gotta keep this all circulating.
Hm, this was a very interesting piece. Very short which at first glance I was expecting to like because that short of an amount of lines is difficult to develop story in. But you did an excellent job in pronouncing your views and plot. I really liked the use of the word 'Disease' in the title because at first the piece does seem to be relatable to a pack of, almost lepors just invading... But later on, to me anyways, it seemed to be that this was a piece going after and attacks the means of politcal oppressions. Rather than just the surface value, 'Disease'. I could be wrong though. Very nice piece overall man. Thanks again for posting and please just go follow through and reply to two other piece and post the links. |
Il get links now man,
and yeah the storyline is about immigrants. |
Ill be leavind feed real soon.
Comps kinda fucked at the minute. |
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word.
my favourite sort of poem. Short and straight to the point. I liked this, the title brought me in. Then the poem grabbed me instantly. A dull cloudy disgrace.. Removes childhood memorys ^^ I liked that part. Very nice poem indeed |
Hmmmm, I'm not feeling the concept you worked with here but that is a personal opinion I suppose. I would've loved for this to be longer and more detailed so your opinion on this matter was portrayed even clearer. The piece had a direct vibe to it, quite good images in this short drop.
Solid |
Daubs, hmm I see your starting Poetry, well your doing well. I don't like the concept. But your point of view towards the Topic is good, I liked your imaginary. it's very Complex. Ok the vibe i got from your poem was kinda abstract to me, a little blurr, but you went straight to the point towards the end. Cool keep it up and write more.
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It was ight but keep it up man thats good shit fam.
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