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I Am Unreal. vs. H.D.
Rules: READ FIRST Topics: make your choice You and your opponent do NOT have to agree on the topic... Pieces are DUE Thursday May 11 Voting ENDS Saturday May 13 Minimum line limit: 20 Maximum line limit: 50 (you can do more if your opponent agrees) Good luck! |
Check.. Topic = Second Coming
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That's fine with me
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Second Coming
Regular – First ComingItalics – Second Coming I was conceived on the eve of indecision,
With the world unfurling like a pin-less cushion There was chaos and pain, Deranged killers, torture and rape Corruption; insane, people being slain By the hands of the kind that I came to save I was a slave to the world Engraved in the brains of all things to hate I gave victims a chance to relate To all the rareness that made them great Fate led me here; it’s where I stand Holding your life in the palm of my hand I watched the world pass me by Doves learned to love, learned to fly I gave sight to the blind I was aesthetic to the apathetic mind People loved me; I was king in my head I even raised the dead to bow by their beds I shed but a tear for those men As I led my people to put them under again They listen to me, the works that I speak Don’t have to justify the things that I seek I prayed for the weak, but I was betrayed So I gave all my pain to the people I saved I carried the burden up a mountain Felt the accusing eyes I was, tossed aside as I prayed to God And I, thought about life… As my palms were nailed to the cross I thought of what could be, not what was lost I’m back with a cause, To remind the world of the hate and suffer; How I tried to guide, and how they held me under Now I’ve risen again, and there’s nothing to do Call me Hitler, new king of the Jews Back to claim this crown of thorns Reborn; Now Nobody knows if I’ll ascend or descend but I’ll avenge my deaths and be here to the end. Regular – Jesus Italics – Hitler |
And @ The End Of the World God Said
Reign of hell fires ignite as Angels and Demons alike recite
Hymns unspoken smoking words provoking verbs apocalyptic Return prolific, pestilence, wrath, famine, and death to be specific Four horsemen personified, one for each limb, extremities Striking down all enemies, without a thought, farm’s bought It’s been taught, this transition would be quick and violent Leaving the entire solar system silent, rivers run with blood Crimson victims fumes fill rooms and soon envelope tombs As tectonic plates shift, causing a rift in mantle, just a sample Real power, God like entities shocked by the hour, cower Knowing their time is here, I smell the neglectfull’s fear Pear deep into the hearts of those unworthy, pass judgment My sentence, no penance too late fate’s slate is written in stone Shatter their bones; scatter their moans across hell’s landscape Let those led a stray taste damnation’s sensation for man’s sake Now listen, this mission is to free the faithful from evil’s grasp Separate the good from the bad, to eradicate Lucifer’s last laughs End it all in blood baths, the bubonic plague couldn’t match If my children thought the great flood was harsh, witness my wrath |
Can we please get some votes?
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Wow, a great battle, bothe of ya'll did execellent.... Unreal; I like how u put Jesus and Gods life in a parallel perspective, It made the reader think and it had a good flow to it..... H.D; real good, the flow was there, the vision was there. I reallie felt it. This was a hard one to judge. Bothe contestants gave a lot fo the reader to indulge... but I'mma have to go wit H.D. for this one... it was a lil more deeper. Unreal kinda fell off at the end... this is wat I call a battle
Winner: H.D. |
Thanks for the vote. Nobody understood my verse ahaha... It's about Jesus getting betrayed by the Jews, so he comes back as Hitler to avenge himself by murdering millions of Jews.. Catch my drift? ;)
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I Am Unreal- Alright, this very much a good verse. You had a decent complexity in your verse. The vocabulary was good, but sometimes it ain't about vocab, the imaginary in your verse had me displaying pictures. Sense of emotion was there, not that much, but you've descriptive enough so I feel the character feelings. The grammar was decent, your concept was sub-par, very good. Conclusion, this was a nice verse, keep writing.
H.D.-This has already been done, I mean the concept, which I started to not liking about your verse. Ok you got vocab, using too much vocab if you ask me, but uh, nice descriptive imaginary words. Uh your emotion is there, not that much. I can't really say much cause it was overall played out. No hate here. I was feeling it, but its all about how you approach the topic and you came 'ok' but the creativity doesn't support it. V/I am Unreal, and not just because he in my crew, because he came dope with his creativity and more interesting |
Hd Had mad word play.. bounce 2 his writen.. stayed on topic (so did IAU) but i felt his more.. cause i would of never guessed it was bout Jesus... sorry.. IAU .. but ur scheme was a beauty
v/ HD |
Quote:
I wouldn't of said anything about a crew vote... we're all in the same crew... lmao Good battle Real |
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