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*Troop* vs @.
Battle Rules:
20 - 30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 3-0 Ko Topic:Living with Aids Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 02-01-05 at 10:55 PM Must drop verse in 60 minutes after check in. |
@. has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-30-05 11:33 PM.
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HIV infection is an infection of the body caused by the human immunodeficiency virus.
Untreated, it leads to a long-term illness that gradually destroys the body’s defenses against infections and certain cancers. my lifes up and down,things allways un-natural no feelings of love,woman are un-catchable My skins looks sick,like im dieng tomorrow I feel envious,that i have this sorrow I do my best to be normal,live life to the full but at times i get out of breath,just sit down or fall I have a minimal amount of stanima,cant bare to say it hurt to have infusion's everyday all the Blood donours are my only grace Im speeding to deaths finish line,in a lonley race my arms have many a scars,from many injection My imune system is low,allways deal with infections bed ridden and bored is my usual outcome No one wants to get close.love? its been years since i felt some Blood nose's are the reguler acurance since I was born with it, i get no health insurance Every night I question god on why he chose me I would of rather if he killed me or simplyfroze me Why do I have to have it liek this...im over it But I guess I gotta live life and make the most of it |
*Troop* has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-31-05 02:17 PM.
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.....At the doctors Office..... I cant comprehend what was flowing thru my Mentals So i decided to Ban the Latex cuz she was on Menstral Leave so i Ignored that Magnum Wrapper in my BackPack Focused on Raw Girateing with Hair Pulling and BackSlaps Not Focuseing on the Consequences or even the Outcome That Would Come from Dna and Cum and my Life is Outdone Within 2 Years Later i noticed these small Skin Laserations Made me Realize i should of Got Jergans and did Masterbation Now My Weight Loss has Drasticly Increased upon even Fate That One Lonesome night when i decided 2 Even Blind Date Brung my Life to a Deadly Outclose do to these Out Hoes On the Corner Exposeing themselves Wearing Little Clothes Now i have to Focus... upon my Therapy and Takeing Pills Due to Sarah and her Buttox Movements and Shakeing Skills Which Caused me to Inherit her Accelerated Life Patterns Which Brung my Jockular Muscles Hotter than 2 Lanterns On top of a Table made of Wax tippling over Another Tip I Rather of took the Chances and have the Rubber Slip But i Decided to move Forward with out any Protection And Have 2 Live the Rest of my Days with Pro-Lections On the Subject of Finding a Cure for this here... H-I-V Banned by my Community and Now hate--Is--all- I-C With these Tyrants infiltrateing on me there Violence Because this Yello Tinted Skin they want me in Silence How Can it be That Possibly me End up with Sleazy V That im going to Decenergrate in the Same Catagory As Nelson Mandelas son and the Great......... Eazy E |
Voted For: @.
Troop good stucture flow was decent....the emotion wasnt quite there the imagery was weak but the creativty was pretty good....good vocab hard choice i didnt think you would be this good at topicals...but try working on using more emotion and it would give you more of an advantage if you would of had better emotion you woulda got this...no hate @. not very good stcutre but the flow was there....the imagery was great but the creativty wasnt really there as much....the vocab was decent not to great but some good words used....and the emotion is what got you this....good job...pz VOTE: @. |
This was feedback posted for @.
.................................. checking the polls
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Voted For: @.
close battle. after being apart in anxiety's "topical review" thread, i read these verses with a completely new and valid perspective. read both verses twice through. and they were good. @'s best lines: all the Blood donours are my only grace Im speeding to deaths finish line,in a lonley race Troop's best lines: Brung my Life to a Deadly Outclose do to these Out Hoes On the Corner Exposeing themselves Wearing Little Clothes Disklikes: *@ was blunt *troop was vulgar Likes: *@ has some strong views *troop has nice story struct verdict: i hate to say this but.....i felt more like someone with AIDS as i read @'s verse. i felt the emotion, & the neglect you would receive having been an AIDS victom. i liked lines about struggle. all good to read. nice verses both...but honestly im going with @. on this one. vote: @ |
probly gonna lose its my 1st topical......uppin
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^************************************************* ***^
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Upppin diz shit
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Voted For: *Troop*
Close battle... I think troop got this....he had a very nice insite and good creativity, and his rhyming words is more complex, he had better flow and structure too. His vocab was very high and he makes the verse sounds real....dope drop man... I thought @'s drop was pretty good too, what he could work on is the flow, it gets a bit stretched here and there, and flow is more important in topicals than in text. I think @ could boost his rhyme scheme and vocab a bit. And could work on the insitefulness, it's alright, but I think troop edged out this battle. Dope battle overall. Voted for: Troop Please return the favor thanks!http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=174170 |
4SHO...somebody was feelin my 1st topical
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^^^^^^^^^^upping for more votes.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Voted For: *Troop*
ok both were good vocab of course is troop the mathafucka always has vocab flow is @ troop came streched in the last lines but now to what wins topicals troop dope fucking imagery and working up to the plot and shit good ass visuale and emotion that wins topicals dope shit @ i think you lost cuz you failed to show the picture that troop did and that hurt you cuz visuales win topicals troop let me see the story and feel it i think @ you were lacking in emotion on this here links in my sig both rtf |
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