[week 4] Bribeone1 (2-1) vs Mystery~murdera (2-1)
Topic: All Of This Is Circumstance
due date: saturday judging ends: monday make it dope...................... |
Yayy we get assigned topics .......
In M~M lets make this good |
fa shizzle my bizzle
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Topic: All Of This Is Circumstance
Young charming bachelor had it right with all moves. edged my way into hearts and left gashing bold grooves. impressions the soothe, thought I was smooth but slipped. sipped on the wrong wine and on my own two feet I tripped. I knew I was wrong, she was completely different from all. when others fell to my charm, she just kept her heart cold. Story unfolds to a blossoming flower thats grown to be bitter. quarreling on inside me when outside I wanted to hit her. but I'm not a quitter I was entrapped with hope for true love. meanwhile i was being decked with hate from a push 2 a shove. above, were those who truly cared advicing me she wasn't it. but when I saw the exit shed be there at the door facing in. Finnally after years at it, the door opened and i saw out. the heart that was frozen solid got heat and was thawed out. years of drought for feeling left me full of emotion once released. all of this is circumstance to my true joy, My beautiful kid.......... |
nice drop my man, I aint feelin this topic but I'll try n drop today...
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not feelin this topic. keyin.
All of This is Circumstance Twan thought he was the man, fuck a circumstance he was his own man, never give up on his plans dance with fate, n sleep with sin, felt the evil seepin in but couldn't cease his grin, faced life with an open smile broke as hell, but was rich in thought with no denial bust him? he bust back? ... till he got smoked - at trial his visions broken, and his platinum dreams shattered he just wanted to rep strong, shit he had to be a rapper had an open shot at life, how could he miss the shit? sat in a cell confused... this is what rappers do isn't it? no... came the voice, Twan's ears perk - he listens big n pac visits... bullshit nah gotta be visions but it goes on, lemme explain our real dreams and visions slowly but surely he learns rap aint just smoke, screams, and bitches 10 year laters 28 now, Twans outa jail, outa this cell, made bail everybody say TWs on a different level, excelled he's real speakin the truth and the truth speaks through him Fame started as a leak then the stream grew in See thourgh him a new lyricist was born n raised His lyrics spoke for him not the Blood, Scornz, n Rapes But if theres one thing I've learned from man it's all of this is just circumstance no beaf but the heat definately burned this man Left on his body was a pen left firm in hand Some spite me, some really feel where I'm writing from Lord forbid they feel me too much... see I'm 17 and afraid cuz the good die young blah, whatdya think? |
uppin this here
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up 1 mo gain
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Bribe - Nice take on the topic, dope imagery/storytelling
and the flow and structure were all in places metaphors were abundant and I enjoyed the piece (especially the bombshell at the end) M~M - You seemed out of your element here, hardly any metaphors and basic imagery and a storyline ive heard on many a Jay-Z b side. I wasnt feelin ure piece and I could tell you werent feelin the topic. Keep elevatin though. Vote - Bribe Drop an honest vote on my SS battle: walter wall vs. akira son bio |
well thanx for the vote,
uppin |
ok drops by both, solid stories, ok wordplay, mystery had sum nyce ideas with good metas', bribe had sum deep imagery, close battle, tha breakdown:
Bribeone- Rhyme Scheme: 6, Flow: 6.5, Story, 7.5, Total: 20 Mystery M- Rhyme Scheme: 7.5, Flow: 6.5, Story: 7, Total: 21 My vote goes to Mystery, his contents won it, with a solid story, bribe one work on your wordplay and rhyme scheme, no hate, may tha best man win, peep my verse, stay real, peace, 1 |
both did good on this
bribe..imagery wordplay was good..wasnt liking the rhyme scheme i have to say...was choppy..but the story and content were pretty dope and the ending was a great twist didnt see it coming mystery...lacked in imagery and word play....a pretty simple piece however the rhyme structure and flow helped it alot...was still a good read...quite a good ending to it as well but...i think bribe won this with better content although neither stories were original so to speak props to both |
good battle here
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I Think That M~M Took It.
His Verse Had More Of A Feel To It. It Had A Good Feel. The Writing Was Good. And I Think Most Aspects Out did Bribe's. vote - M~M |
I Have To Agree.. Close Shit Here
And You Both Are My Boys But When it Comes Down To It.. Im Gunna Have To Swing To MM Here.. Really Dope Battle But MM Story Hooked Me In Real Quick. Took Me A Lil While For Bribes' But Yet, He Came Dope None The Less... Vote - M~M |
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