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David Lama 05-19-06 06:48 PM

My Enemy’s Diary
 
its unknowingly Guile, black.. I read it once, a while back.
thinking I’d read a book packed with carefully compiled facts
instead it defiled my unblemished image with cruel lies
saying that through time I only existed to do crimes
and construe signs that deceive just to bring people to me
but if you looked at me there would be no evil to see
my enemy tried to be equal to me, succeeding
in the eyes of those who believe him, whom hes been deceiving
he’s Jesus; a heathen, and me?.. some know me as Satan
but I’m really God.. Jesus isn’t holy and faking
who’s mans faith in?. the actual devil; prince of darkness
you think he died for you? then you don’t know where his heart is
especially since hes heartless & demanded fear
he didn’t come down to save.. he simply landed here
where he was left stranded years ago.. after I kicked him
out of heaven, which I do when angels of mine pick sin
but let me rewind, listen.. one day I saw him writing
Hey Jesus, is this what you did those times you been hiding?
yes Lord Lucifer, I write daily in my journal
its nothing serious. why does this sound rehearsed though?
nevermind, I need to first know why this urge to write stuff?
don’t lie schmuck, remember I know everything. alright!! FUCK!!
its called the Bible, I sent a few copies to earth today
in it.. your me and I’m you, didn’t mean to hurt you
. gay!
I don’t have a word to say except for why’d you do this?
it was just a matter of time, you knew it.. I’m your Judas
that book, go through it. you’ll know exactly what I mean then
this is obsene man!, its all been a part of a scheme then?
yea we’re even, but what have I ever done to you?
NOTHING!
that’s just it. you dont praise me when I do things none would do
like lead the choir & play the drums too. you get me?
only I receive praises, you know that.. ehhhh forget thee
your gonna regret you ever met me. don’t start with threats
you could fix it all if you just stopped playing hard to get
maybe I should be sorry, are you yet?. not even close
I‘m sending you to Hell to roast. you mean I’m being toast?
yea, you‘ll be needing hope.. In plain words.. eternal flames? worst!
your going to earth to suffer a great deal of pain first
whatever you say herb. I’ll really make them think I’m you now
heal the sick, make disciples.. all the things I can do, wow
stop it Jesus! your too proud. & this could be a blessing man
if you go down there and repent I’ll give you a second chance

theres no repenting plan, I’m deceiving humanity
play mind tricks on them till their reaching insanity
completing my fantasy.. as I make them say my name
for everything, “JESUS JESUS” while in their brains I reign

he obviously would remain the same.. so I stopped him
dropped him off on earth where he’d masterfully plot sin
but he did not win, I’m still God, & those who believed his lies
need to see its lies & search for the truth to get redeemed with time
stop being blind, if you have a dire need to inquire me
know that the Bible’s not my word.. just my enemy’s diary

David Lama 05-19-06 06:49 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2746196
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2746199

XpLiCiT187 05-20-06 04:30 AM

CONCEPT IS GENIUS, IT'S CREATIVE & UNIQUE...I DON'T KNOW WHY CATS IS SLEEPIN ON THIS THREAD. STORY LINE STAYED ON TRACK THE WHOLE TIME...

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Lama
theres no repenting plan, I’m deceiving humanity
play mind tricks on them till their reaching insanity
completing my fantasy.. as I make them say my name
for everything, “JESUS JESUS” while in their brains I reign

HOT, NICE TRANSITION INTO THE NEXT LINE....

THERE WAS A COUPLE CORNY LINES THROWN IN WHERE ITS CLEAR YOU WAS LOOKING FOR ANOTHER MULTI TO THROW IN SUCH AS...

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Lama
nevermind, I need to first know why this urge to write stuff?
don’t lie schmuck, remember I know everything. alright!! FUCK!!

BUT THEN AGAIN ITS EXCEPTABLE WHEN YOUR TACKLING A CHALLENGING SUBJECT & THE FLOW WAS AS LONG AS IT WAS, SO THERES GONNA BE A COUPLE THROWAWAY LINES ADDED IN TO SPACE THE VERSE OUT... DOPE SHIT THOUGH.

Valerie 05-21-06 02:55 AM

nice man .

scanz 05-21-06 10:20 AM

always love ur shit. that piece was original and creative as fuck. u had nice imagrey. some internal. and multies, flow was pretty nice. over all that was a kick ass piece, cant wait for ur next one.

Dervla 05-21-06 11:17 AM

This was decent. I like the creativity behind this verse, it was very well thoughtful. You seem to be forcing, here and there, in your rhymes. The imaginary was good, very well portrait. The emotion I could feel between the 2 characters in your verse. The Transition though was kinda, iffy, but it was cool. The vocabulary was good. This was a very wel interesting piece, the only thing that caught my attention was your creativity/ concept and the way you apporached the Topic, very Nice.


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