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l.e vs C.A.L.I
Battle Rules:
6 - 30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topical-Dreams of My Life Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 09-17-08 at 07:00 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
L.E has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-14-08 11:45 PM.
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C.A.L.I has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-15-08 12:07 AM.
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Dreams of my life........more like reoccuring nightmares
Street wars,body scared,and cops who dont fight fair Prison bars,lifes hard,and the world is a battlefield And everything you belive in does'nt matter here Sinners who judge sinners and pass down judgement And everyday I wonder where the fuck God's love is I guess the weed smoke in my temple leaves my prays unseen Screams of my victims a screeching lyllabye in my dreams It seems........like i count sins instead of sheep And spend less time asleep then actually trying to sleep They say you die when you sleep but really you live Over and over again all the things that you did My life is posion and i feel the venom run through my veins As i stand in my own hellfire wishing for rain The pain is insane but its never enough........ .....to kill me before its all over and my body wakes up So sleep is the enemy and im trying to beat it But sleep is a patient foe,no chance i'll defeat it My body needs it.......my soul does'nt agree Because everytime I sleep I look in a mirror of me And I see what I dont want to see or admit Because I dream of my life and my life ain't shit |
Dreams of My Life...
Rainbows and puffy clouds trap my vision till it's blurry... Galaxies swirling about stars spinning in they're fury... Dreams are over rated visions, make a man stand tall... How can man dream so big, when man is so small..? As a youth I dreamed of being a man of knowledge... My life long dream was to grow up and go to college... My road was gravy, the entire thing had been paved befor me... It made my story, I strived to be great and taste the glory Dreams of my life... Call me wierd...but I dont dream to manage the physics... Don't dream about money, I dream the planet's existence I used to be a dreamer, they were way too few of me... Now a dream is a kids thing, it exists to only humour me I can't tell whats real, I smoke alotta weed it helps... Dreams of my life.....? Maybe life is a dream itself... I AM a dreamer...you will have faith as you gaze my eyes... These days surprise, people drownding in a haze of flies You would be amazed at the ways that people dream... Hitler's wet dream...hearin people scream at night made him cream The definition of a dream can be forgotten to men... A dream is forever a goal for those who haven't gotten theirs yet... Dream of My Life... Rainbows and puffy clouds trap my vision till it's blurry... Galaxies swirling about stars spinning in they're fury... Dreams are over rated visions, make a man stand tall... How can man dream so big, when man is so small..? Understand that I am a dreamer, a title deeming it fits... In a world as dark as ours, the fog obscening with mist Dreaming is believing...so what kind of dreaming is this..? This is more of a nightmare...fuck dreams I don't believe in that shit... Quick drop good luck man. |
good luck to you l.e.nice drop.........................................
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Voted For: L.E
not bad man, long time no see. I like your writing style, the cali word choice was pretty good throughout. I thought this piece lacked creative shit, the storyline was really simple in some ways. I mean I've heard people say stuff like that before. it's not because you have a street style or anything, you just don't have a generic piece really. overall not bad, you can probably do better i bet. le ok nice, i don't really see how cali can beat a published author though i bet he could if he polished his shit up a bit. anyway i thought you attempted a more creative piece again the storyline/topic choice seemed played as well. the imagery was just more creative and that's basically why you get my vote. |
This was feedback posted for L.E
Honestly, I've seen better from the both of you back in the day... this whole battle seemed rushed and unfocused on both sides...
"I AM a dreamer...you will have faith as you gaze my eyes... These days surprise, people drownding in a haze of flies" that's definitely filler... i know it's a topical and all but this was not well thought out... throughout... you seemed to go from a poetry style to a semi-rap style... the two don't mix well... by this i mean... you went from... Rainbows and puffy clouds trap my vision till it's blurry... Galaxies swirling about stars spinning in they're fury... to..... I can't tell whats real, I smoke alotta weed it helps... and This is more of a nightmare...fuck dreams I don't believe in that shit... CaLi took on more of a rap tone but it still seemed forced to me.... with that... i do have to add that he was involved in 5 simultaneous battles and may have been trying to meet all of his "deadlines" .... no pun intended Prison bars,lifes hard,and the world is a battlefield And everything you belive in does'nt matter here... i know it's not perfect rhyming but stuff like this irks da hell outta me... not saying that it can't work... it's just sumn i, personally, can't and refuse to do I guess the weed smoke in my temple leaves my prays unseen Screams of my victims a screeching lyllabye in my dreams... I don't know about everyone else... but smoke usually goes to the lungs ...not the temple... the effects of the drug may affect brain cells but what's that got to do with your temple? So sleep is the enemy and im trying to beat it But sleep is a patient foe,no chance i'll defeat it My body needs it.......my soul does'nt agree Because everytime I sleep I look in a mirror of me This was just boring..... your point comes across but not very well... there was nothing strong about the statement that was made here.... you guys pretty much said the same things at the end of your drops... the bottom line was.... life sucks.... i used to really enjoy reading y'all stuff... but this forced stuff here?... this just tells me that we're all pretty much getting bored with text battling... or at least with how the battles are conducted... conclusion: i call it a draw.... hence feedback for both instead of a vote... stay up... let's get shyt back to how it used to be.....competitive! |
This was feedback posted for L.E
hmmmmm i would give it to LE but i don't have time to break it down
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my body is a temple fool thats where the smoke goes:/
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Quote:
werd.... it wasn't expressed clearly.... now that ya said that, i can dig it |
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Voted For: L.E
I havent voted in what seems like a hundred years so if its not up to par my fault I can go category by category but thats kind of lame (unless its required) Both verses were good but I was definitely drawn to L.E's a bit more, a few of his bars stood out more than Calis stand out bars. "Call me wierd...but I dont dream to manage the physics... Don't dream about money, I dream the planet's existence I used to be a dreamer, they were way too few of me... Now a dream is a kids thing, it exists to only humour me I can't tell whats real, I smoke alotta weed it helps... Dreams of my life.....? Maybe life is a dream itself..." ^- I thought that was pretty dope, it all went together well Calis verse was good in parts but at others had me losing interest "Dreams of my life........more like reoccuring nightmares Street wars,body scared,and cops who dont fight fair And I see what I dont want to see or admit Because I dream of my life and my life ain't shit" Your first and last bars were my favorites of the verse Anyways I gotta give the vote to LE for the overall standout verse, sorry if this vote is inadequate I havent voted in a while |
Voted For: C.A.L.I
i think he explained the picture better and basically had every thing on this so he winz............ |
Voted For: L.E
i prefered this verse because it was set out more nicely and had better rhymes, and better, imagery den the other verse this one i think takes the win although i liked both... but im voting for this. |
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