Beyond the life
 

This is my shit here. A perfect example of how real story tellin gets down.


Some chick, highlighted horsehair laced with razorblades
Face to face, tongue kissin a date that makes ya pay for aids
Seein a guage to braces, leavin the latest traces
Of ya favorite k swiss, cut up, different color reeses pieces
Swingin matrix style, so it takes a while
To touch the ground, not leavin much but sound
Ringin off the blood, clingin soft to drugs
Breathin costs ya lungs, but the pain remains
And changes subtle, gangstas pace to huddle
His brains been trained for pain but remains in a state
Of blatant nothin, Satans uppin, the stakes
His fates been comin since he gave him somethin
He drank liquor, makin blood thinner and hes dyin faster
Had a crew, but tonight the cast is lifeless caspers
And ya cryin half the, tears of a fearless phantom
Cuz no emotion flows in what it appears has happened
Switch gears back to the peers that capped him
A couple cheered assassins, 50 dollars richer
And the body a gritty modest ficture
What u should know is his former glory
His less than morman story, shouldve warned him for me
His family not long in mourning
Cuz he'd been a problem forming
His whole life
So suppose the fools gold and cold ice, can make u grow twice
As evil as the faux types, dickridin claimin u so nice
So as gangsta as ya claim to be on the mic
G'head and recon the stripes, see beyond the life

Damn yall sleepin on this shit

jus fix yo structure

fow was good

topic was coo too
but done before but not alot

wordplay I give you thumbs up for too

7/10

keep droppin

I need some competition here on ope mic..

peep mine
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=156980

Uppin this again

nice work i like the "date that makes ya pay for aides" line was tight.

uppin this .......

Word Dis Is Some Good Flow Shit Here

Fix Ya Struture More Vocab...........but Either Way Dis Some Good Shit Ish

Yo Put An Feedback In My Open Mic

The Death Night P.2 Plz I'll Preciate Tha Feedback..........word

Need some more feedback. This is some good shit quit sleepin

what the hell is with this you start a battle and i not even agree to it, thats bullcrap, im'a do it anyways but im'a throw down 2marrow,i see you just accepted that means you gonna throw ya verse down in 30 then. nice.

im likin that casper line alot about the crew and all that, mad tight, im'a kill you kill'.

Dont be beefin with me on this shit. theres other places for that. And i dropped my shit already, AFTER u agreed to it. Dont act like u didnt.

whats with the pic of pun, dont you have to pay for crap like that??????

U dont have to pay for shit.

GOOD SHIT YO YALL GIVE SOME FEED ON THIS ITS NOT TO BE SLEPT ON IM FORREAL I put that in all caps when i said so i know they see it..lol...but any way good word play it was very creative an very well said I give it a 10-10 for signs of greatness

Thanks for the feedback yall keep it comin