If I were president II.....
 

me and the_osk are just some cats from the kanye west boards
this also was in the same topical tourney he was in (still waitin on the winner) just lookin for some feedback


I'm sleepless, eyes are weighing me down/
I couldn't think straight until I heard the alarm clock sound/
Sometimes I forget who I am until I see the men in suits watching my every movement/
There's a man next to me with a suitcase handcuffed to his wrist so he won't lose it/
I'm known to the people as a leader, not a dictator/
Somehow I always fuck things up and make the death rate greater/
I'm wanted for dead, cowards flashing red dots on my head/
Threats executed towards my country because of something I said/
You can call me Mr. President, critiqued by the ignorant and loathed by leaders hundreds of miles away/
I'm loved by the married as long as they're not gay/
I got the whole military at my very command/
Just point my finger at a country and it's gone on my demand/
My nights are sleepless, past mistakes haunt me like a nightmare/
I hear civilians crying and vision the less fortunate without welfare/
But I woke up today with a different mind set/
Things will be different, the day is long yet/
I step up to the podium to begin my speech/
Gazing into the crowd who longs for me to teach/
I turn off the teleprompter I speak through my heart/
The attention is focused on me, the anxiety of waiting for me to start/

"First I'll stop the military funding and send the soldiers back to their homes/
I'll imprison the abusive parents and make sure their children are not alone/
Personally I'll give every victim of war a hug/
I'll invest money in the ghettos and lock up the thugs/
All the innocent in prisons will be released without a trial/
The military won't be brought in until the U.N peacekeepers stay awhile/
I'll put all the abortion doctors on trial for homicide/
Then I'll tell all the teenage mothers the truth about abortion and how their babies die/
I'll burn the electric chairs and dispose of lethal injections/
I'll make sure everyone knows about God and end the splitting of religions into sections/
I will rebuild the twin towers but they won't look alike/
A representation that no two people are the same, they're completely different if you look at them right/
The ten commandments will be added to the amendments/
Terrorists will be brought to justice because of the threats they send us/
The blind will see, the cancerous will survive/
Nothing will be hiden from any american, politicians will stop the lies..."

Silence, my voice fades away like the speech never begun/
I feel a sharp pain in my neck and all my eyes see is light more brilliant then the sun/
The souls of deceased leaders help me up and we walk to heaven together, where our only leader is God/
My service is held on a Sunday, where even the most ruthless criminals sob/
I hope you remember me, not just on that Sunday/
My face is long forgotten but my words will be remembered someday

that was sick as-well but this was a topic battle or something????

either way both are very nicely done with sick meaning bars with good emotion and creative lines and truth behind them made it a greater read....

9.3 outta 10 good job.....



can u plez drop some feed back........

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=142971

again feelin that , we need to do a collab like , a u.s citzen speakin with an iraq ya know something like that pm me and we set it up

ya it was a topical battle
thanx for the ups, good lookin out and ill check out ur shit and give ya some feedback

yo Rye.. i read ur drop like twice in the kanye boards.. and it was coo.. but this time, the third time i read it, i REALLY liked it.. it's tight man. One of your best pieces, easily.. I still don't agree with that one line.. about teaching everyone about God.. that kinda goes against what the U.S. is about (freedom of religion.. or no-religion... ). Other than that, everything else was kinda on point.. well, not the abortion.. cuz again.. that's kinda a religious thing for the most part (even tho i am religious, and i do not believe in abortion). still.. your drop was sick. keep it up playa. 9/10