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Hurricaine Katrina
Hurricaine Katrina
Too amazed for words like caged birds people trapped Church steeple wrapped in the arms of the ocean overlapped By mother nature, brother it nomenclature six hundred Miles long, this sad scene is like a bad dream brain thundered And can’t sleep it paint freak scriptures and deep pictures of destruction on my mind so strong and divine like ugly fixtures its all real like a small meal stuff to be eaten and feeding Imaginations the city officials of New Orleans join in proceedings Worry came about hurricane Katrina she ripped homes And flipped unknown buildings, killing folks with strong Wind and rain thunder loud as funnel clouds twirled Like spinning tops to a never ending stop the world Was amazed at the damage it destroyed lyrical cultures And physical structures it closed roads blew down sculptures The mess was too extreme for the rescue team it seem hazy As disaster gravy dripped president sought after navy ships like crazy He sent crews and large teams to New Orleans to aid in rescue missions People trapped on roof tops the truth drops to helicopter pilots collisions With water s of fright just to alter the height of survival no violet mission The sewage vapors grips like paper clips to nose as the flood waters rose It was a wet bazaar even BRET FAVRE of the Green Bay Packers close Hope on finding many alive |
Today, 12:58 AM #2
Mystic Chaos Do What You Say,Mean What You Do Posts: 887 Joined: Aug 2005 From: Detroit Status: Offline Text Record: 2-0 IP: 3240 794D good verse man, i felt the imagery and emotion....ur multis was fresh..but ur structure was honestly off i felt if i was able to get a flwo....i would give this an 8/10 but its really 7/10.....i dont have any o/ms so can u please drop an honest vote on my new battles thanks man and good job urve really elevated __________________ Open Mic's Missin You ft. 2fast2furious Death Row Battles NiggaPlease vs. Mizz fyre RECORD WINS-1 LOSSES-0 KO'S-1 Mystic Chaos View Public Profile Send a private message to Mystic Chaos Find More Posts by Mystic Chaos Add Mystic Chaos to Your Buddy List Today, 05:43 AM #3 Intermental Rebel Posts: 1,345 Joined: Feb 2005 Status: Online Text Record: 5-3 Audio Record: 2-0 Graphics Record: 0-0 IP: 839F 6421 This was the first good thing ive seen from you....gd work __________________ Inter feat. Tha Q - 2 minutes to live Inter and Dabatos - I need somebody |
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Open Mics........ is that all u do on this site?
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Sik Wit It damn you got 3,751 that's got to be all you do
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1,462 is sure up there too
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Sik Wit It well anyway don't see nothing wrong with posting rhymes if you have a problem with this then turn off your computer HA! HA! HA! HA!
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this is ok could of been more detail and emotion in it.
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I liked this peice.Good vocab and shit.Flow was esspeccially good in the start.But near the end..it fell off.Some multis didn't match sllyably..and that kinda hurt it a bit.So work on that.But overall...good stuff.Keep it going.Just make multis match sllyably.
Rtf in sig if you could... |
ehhhh.... i see u improved a lil in storytellin but u still need ta elevate more...u had some stuff that kinda just dragged on or didnt really jhave too much ta do wit hurricane katrina...ur talkin bout paintin scriptures and what not when there's so much more ta talk bout...what bout the people stuck at the superdome dyin of dehydration and starvation....what bout the dead bodies floatin, or 80% of lousiana beein underwater....there's more ta cover and brett farve is too rich ta care bout one of his houses beein wiped out...but otherwise u made an attempt at tryin ta cover the topic...and whats this???..."its all real like a small meal stuff to be eaten and feeding
Imaginations the city officials of New Orleans join in proceedings" meal stuff ta be eatin????.....anywayz this o.m be better without that line...the rhyme scheme was ehhh u had some multi's seen better wit multi's but everythang else of ur previous shit made it a hundred times worse than this...flow was ight i could read pretty easily...otherwise i'd give this a 6.5/10 |
thanks for the props and critiques everybody for real
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