i dont even know what this says..
 

i dont know what i wrote. i dont want to read it back to myself..
im going through some hard times with my girlfriend of a year..
so i wrote this and decided to show it to anyone whom wishes to read it..

your words tell me nothing but lies
so i look to your eyes and i see the truth
the glossy shield.. hiding your emotions
i stare deep into your gaze.. i no longer see you
all i see is this woman.. whom i no longer know
where is the girl i fell in love with....
she dissapeared in the mist of your tears
when your eyes bled with guilt..
i knew that i hadnt payed attention
i let this relationship that we had built
crumble to nothing.. without even knowing
i was blind to your actions.. you told me but..
i didnt see the true meaning of your words..
they werent lies.. they were clues..
but when i discovered your secrets.
you were too far gone.. your hearts no longer mine
regrets in my mind.. i could have avoided this
but i know now that its final.. its this time
that it all comes to an end.. we part in our lives
i can no longer love another..
because i left a piece of me with you
a vital piece of me.. that is yours too keep forever
no matter where you go... or what decisions you make
my heart remains yours.. but you can have yours back
i dont want you to live in sadness.. so ill release my grasp
give back what was once yours.. so you can love again
let my tears tell you everything.. my tears mean more than words
my tears mean this.. my tears mean i'll love you forever

very emotional my man...good poetic piece if i do say so myself.....nice job man :thumbup:.......keep it up.........chea boi

ayo man this piece is dope and shit man very emotional man.............i think ill drop one poetic piece check it out later

I pray you the strength to persevere and do what is right, even when there is wrong around you. Good piece, exceptionally emotional which was expected and this is a good piece nonetheless.

This poem was written very well, some deep emotions shone through and you definately put that across to the readers, some strong vocab, overall great drop, keep it up.1

damn... i'm srry bout what u goin thru dog. i just had a bad break up, but i got a new girl, and i'm sure u'll bounce back too. this poem iz FIRE! real emotions alwayz make the best poems, and this iz probably one of the best ones i ever read. keep ya head up Sick, and keep writing.

This was very nice, a lot of good metaphors, Imagery wasn't evident on this piece...but it wasn't needed...and i don't really see how you could have used it. This piece was fairly close to flawless, the flaws that It has I can't put my finger on...it's something about that way I'm reading it...maybe thats just me though..over all..very nice pice....I'm impressed...stay up

ya.. i just like actually read it lol... thanks for the response people

You should read over your poem. It is beautiful - you have a lot to give. Don't blame yourself for someone elses mistakes. I love the selfless act of freeing her from your grasp that is poetic in itself and I must say that I have done the same thing. Therefore I know where you are coming from. If you ever check out my threads you might understand. I never read my work over - that is my biggest downfall - I never get to see what other people like about what I write.

Good luck with love - you don't need it. Just keep it real

poisenous_tongue

^^ thanks man.. glad you liked it

ayyo man, this was a touching piece right from the heart.....im lacking pussy so i dont know i cant relate....but i feel you man

thanks man.......

damn sick.........nasty poem....sum serious emotion goin into this.....craziness....you used nice metaphors...and the imagery was dope......good peice.....i liked it alot....my bois goin thru a breakup rite now 2......keep it comin

thanks homes.. uppin i guess

i think this should be nominated..... as you can see the feedback left was never bad not only that but it was a very emotional piece.....:thumbup: