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Reminisce
I sit back tilt my head and I just reminisce ..About my life and how its just full of shit Rather than full of bliss just sit and listen While I take you back to the days ..That I used to glisten Given birth by my mother I guess you could call it a gift My parents opened the box just to find a pile of shit They didn't complain, they tried to raise me right I didn't want to live but their love just made me fight Strong minded on the streets but thats to say the least No one wanted to brag for not having shoes on their feets I listen to rap and hear people rave about there hoood Like how you represent shit that did you no good? My life has been wasted to selling drugs and shit Wake up and do it again, I've had enough of it But it's how I get my money even though it tires me Shit I can't even get a job cause no one will hire me I'm not one to complain I'll stay silent and hang tight Even though my soul is good I know this shit aint right My parents have given up they simply know that its over As the weight of the world gets heavier and crushes my shoulder Theres nothing left to do dont even give me a bitch Cuz im done with this shit ima just start slitting my wrists So much for glistening..nothing even happened Just sold drugs while strangers called me a savage Was searching for a girl to call us You and I But I fell short of life and subsided to suicicde Links..to..come. |
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arrrrrrrrgggggggg
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good drop man massive props on this the flow was good an i can picture hearing it on a hot beat as well if flowed right topic was good you kept me going an i felt i could relate to the things u said which aslso helped man good shit
9.9/10 |
i liked the rhymes, liked the topic, but their was somethin about some of the lyrics that i for some reason just wasnt feelin, overall good though
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thanks for the feed.
And peace. I was going for a simple flow so i didnt try to use much vocab lol... |
damn nigga instead of naming it"reminsce" you should of named it "suicide"
but i can tell your either hood or really poor by the passion in your music ,but from one hood nigga to the next keep ya head up its much you can do to make money i rate this a 8/10 good verse so can you return the favor on mine heads 2 da sky -wiley d |
the concept of this was good and is quite true as most commercial rappers get out of their hood by rapping but then brag about the roots. I liked how you used first person as the 1st person dialogue was good and gave this piece a soliliquay feel. I found your rhymes inetersting though basic and simplicit at times, which was a lil bit so so and did affect the overall quality. However, you managed to carry the storyline with emotion which was a plus, therefore, i reckon this was an aight piece, Stay up.
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Thanks for the honest feed, truely appreciate it.
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the concept is done to death. and the opener was weak.. i almost thought this would be a crap piece. but it wasnt you incorporated lots of emotion and imagery into your piece and the word usage just helped it along continuosly.. youi also switched up the concept a bit and made it dope.. so pretty good piece here man... your rhyme scheme could have been a little more complex though hit up on e of the links in my signature... nice job
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good concept, would make a ok verse and it works as a topical peice.
Vocab is highly lacking bro, switch up the rhyme scheme a bit would add more interest, drop some half bar multis in it. To add more imagery start each line off with a describing word. Instead of "my" Im" "still" use things like, basically, quickly, eratically, stongly blisfully. nah mean?! adds mro emeotion and imagery and sets up the bar alot more. Dcenet verse though, enjoyed the read. Bu tfeel strongly you could of came through with alot more emotion, try adding twists at the end of your peice aswell :) |
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