RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Love Pains (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=247582)

bribri45 09-17-08 06:01 PM

Love Pains
 
Love Pains

There is a pain in my chest
my friends tell me that i shouldnt stress
but this pain is something ill never forget
These pains ive never felt before in my life
when im around you the pains out of site
when your arund everything goes right
you shouldnt have to feel this pain at night
that is why i call you every night

Also Known. 09-17-08 06:20 PM

Don't rhyme words with the same word.

Example:
Night
and
Night

Site and sight, look at it I don't have to say any more.
Upgrade your vocab. Put some emotion in it your talking about love come on girl. Just cuz it rhymes doesn't make it a rap or poem.

bribri45 09-17-08 06:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Lavish
Don't rhyme words with the same word.

Example:
Night
and
Night

Site and sight, look at it I don't have to say any more.
Upgrade your vocab. Put some emotion in it your talking about love come on girl. Just cuz it rhymes doesn't make it a rap or poem.


i kno wat u mean but i didnt meant that kind of sight like eye sight i meant the scene all together....but y not rhyme the same 2 words alot of ppl do it???

Also Known. 09-17-08 07:17 PM

The only person who pulled it off was Murs in the song BTS. It loses the flow of the piece.

hottest model 10-18-08 04:27 PM

Keep up work buddy


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:31 PM.