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What Is Life?!?!
Some of yall may have seen a couple of open mics from me before..heres my first in a while..im assasin by the way...feedback please...
What Is Life?!?! Bring to life... The sound of crys...enough to bring tears to ones eyes... But tears of joy...tears of happiness...tears to represent a new life... For a mother to carry a seed...makin a life long commitment to provide needs... Then go through agony and bleed..to see it for the first time and watch it breathe... To hold her baby in her arms...its like a whole new ray of light... Then to cry with such emotion..provin there is such a thing as love at first sight... For one to grow...endure life..survive...slowly but sure... To reproduce...bring up a child...and let that child endure the cycle once more... To see your own face...your own eyes...your own nose in someone else... To bring life into the world must be the greatest love tht can be felt... Now thats life... A Dogs life... Miserable..waking up each day just seems like too much hard work... If u ever get to tht point... Just remember how much hard work it was for ur mother to give birth... Lifes rough..it aint always gon be smooth like silk cloth... But no matter how bad u got it..remember..theres always someone worse off... Theres fight in the dog...lifes hard...but why would ya wanna quit for... Just to make another person smile is a good enough reason to live for... No money in the bank...can money really make things better... Of course it can...but no amount of money can take away the stormy weather... Lifes a struggle...a battle...a fight to surive and lesson to learn... Then heaven becomes the good place...to live when it becomes ur turn... Now thats life The good life... Money...cars..big house...some call it the good life... But dont get it twizted..its just a different way to survive... Fancy suits...posh vocabulary...topped with expensive fancy meals... Wots wrong with throwbacks...street slang...and quarter pounder deals... Life isnt about wealth.....wealth hasnt found life a cure for aids... The so called good life didnt reject pac an early trip to them gates... The worlds what we make of it...from the lifes tht weve been given... Who can blame a gurl for strippin..someone tell me why tht aint an honest livin... So why cant we see happiness instead of sadness from every rain drop... What is i quote 'The good life?'..isnt ALL life good...fullstop... |
damn...dats all i can say kid, shit is dope....def 8/10
keep em comin 4real |
safe fam...uppin....
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upppppp.................
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up bitchez..........leave links and i get at ya...
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up bitchez..........oh..and heres a link to my feed back.....up..
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1886480 |
fuck me...up bitchez...open mic is wank..no1 gives feedback..i give feedback to like 5 other pieces...bastards.....
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Daaaaaym, Struggling With The Feed Huh???...
Its Tuff I Know, But On To Your Feedback... I Was Really Feeling Your Verse... Nice Steady Flow, Got Lost Now And Then But Overall On Point... The Emotion In My Opinion Was The Best Part... I Felt As Thought Taking Every Step With You... The Concept Was Pretty Nice With The Different Views On Life... That Concept Is Actually Alot Better For Collabs Though... Just Because You Get COMPLETELY Different Views You Know???... But It Showed Skill That You Could Do It Yourself... Uuuuuum, Critizisms... Add Some Hooks n Chorus's, Its Just Breaks It Up... Makes It Easier For The Reader If They Get A Pause... Fix Your Structure A Bit... Your Lines Are Kinda All Different Legths... If They're All Around The Same Then The Flow Is More Consistant... And Another Thing Thats Kinda Minor But I Guess I Should Bring Up... The "..." Actually In The Sentances Might Bother Some Readers... Personally I Kinda Liked It Cuz It Made Your Style Sound Unique... But Some Other People May Say It Makes The Read To Long Having To Pause... I'd Wait And See If Anyone Else Dislikes That Before You Switch That Up Though... Uuuuuuum Ya Thats It... I DO Like Your Writing Though... You Show Alot Of Potential For The Future... I'll Be Keepin An Eye Out... Stay Up And Keep Elevating... .One. |
Thanks for the feed mayne....:)...uppin...
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yeah man that shit is pretty dope. good everything. 10/10
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Having sex with my girlfriend my head whirls and spins
Like bedding with cake afterwards she set a wedding date then Started spreading great rumors about dreaming she’s a lady In marriage pushing a baby carriage steaming she sees my Mercedes |
madrapper..tht aint feed....dont free post in here please...uppin....
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upppp...............
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Wait Are You The Same As Idyllic Queen???...
Just Wondering, Dont Meen To Waste Space... .One. |
^^^nah man..im assasin....just changed name other day..
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