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Daubs vs Rising Sun
Battle Rules:
10 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 12-24-05 at 03:15 PM Must drop verse in 15 minutes after check in. |
Daubs has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-24-05 02:45 PM.
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Rising Sun has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-24-05 02:46 PM.
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If you come at me with all that blah-blah-blah shit and the ~'s...then I will fuckin kill you.
I looked into your talent..for ages but i aint finding none and you aint elevated from battle one.. ..how the fuck you gonna be rising,sun So you are rising sun..who knows where your rising from back after you left?..i never EVEN noticed you were gone Fuck what you bring.. the only reason your SLIGHTLY close to me 'sing is the fact you got nearly as many losses as I have wins i find your concepts lying in bins, showin you garbage though you may be running the scene...til i snap ya cartlidge i mean, your countrys even ashamed of where you come from so il just key a half ass....to own a full one Enough? Will RTF |
posted very early b/c we had to set it up again
Like ~Randy Moss~ I’m a Viking – William the Conqueror – that’ll ~wreck this British~ I ~expect to finish~, ~Dandy-Daubs~ who ~can’t stand the loss~ I ~can’t be stopped~ cause your loss is predictable like a ~bandit’s plot~ And like ~Marcus Camby blocks~, I’ll send you ~back home~ I ~crack domes~ cause I’m tight like Vida Guerra’s ~black thongs~ You could ~act strong~ but you got your ~facts wrong~ cause you got whack ~rap songs~ If you ever wanna *blow up* you better start praying to God in ~heaven~ Cause you never rode the tube on the morning of ~July the 7th~ Shallow my pride and I’ll ~die a legend~ like an Oldsmobile ~Cutlass~ Good ~luck vet~ cause I pounded you more than a slut’s ~butt gets~ Even if you were under the tutelage of Shakespeare, you couldn’t formu-late a ~couplet~ |
up................................................ ...........................................
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uppin............................................. .........................................
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Voted For: Daubs
DAUBS - Average verse. Your flow was a bit off in places, I think you still need to work on how to use the 3-line bars and shit. The punches were nice, I didn't like the 2nd to lasto ne that much. The personals were cool, some could've been delivered better, a couple of ok nameplays. The best part really was the last line, that turned the closing punch into a funny joke. I think that you pretty much half-assed this, well its kind of confirmed in the last line so that added something to your verse and made it seem less weak than if you hadn't incorporated that into the last line. OVERALL: 6/10 RISING SUN - Your verse was weak. The flow was off in places, the rhyme scheme you used was basic as fuck and the only thing that you had going for you with it was the use of multies. Even though your multies were too basic to have any real added affect, it was the only decent part to your verse. You lacked in punches and personals, nothing really stuck out as decent. A lot of the shit was mediocre basic "I'll fuck you up" crap which has been done by way too many people. You need to get some original concepts and punches, or at least flip some used concepts real well to make a decent verse. OVERALL: 4/10 V/ - DAUBS Return the favour on the battle in my siggy. :) Like ~Randy Moss~ I’m a Viking – William the Conqueror – that’ll ~wreck this British~ I ~expect to finish~, ~Dandy-Daubs~ who ~can’t stand the loss~ I ~can’t be stopped~ cause your loss is predictable like a ~bandit’s plot~ And like ~Marcus Camby blocks~, I’ll send you ~back home~ I ~crack domes~ cause I’m tight like Vida Guerra’s ~black thongs~ You could ~act strong~ but you got your ~facts wrong~ cause you got whack ~rap songs~ If you ever wanna *blow up* you better start praying to God in ~heaven~ Cause you never rode the tube on the morning of ~July the 7th~ Shallow my pride and I’ll ~die a legend~ like an Oldsmobile ~Cutlass~ Good ~luck vet~ cause I pounded you more than a slut’s ~butt gets~ Even if you were under the tutelage of Shakespeare, you couldn’t formu-late a ~couplet~ |
LMFAO!!! Pay no attention to that verse below my vote. I forgot to delete it because I was going to break down the shit bar for bar but I couldn't be fucked.
My vote is still honest and good enough. :) |
Voted For: Daubs
Fuck what you bring.. the only reason your SLIGHTLY close to me 'sing is the fact you got nearly as many losses as I have wins i mean, your countrys even ashamed of where you come from so il just key a half ass....to own a full one word, first line = played, seen it done by everyone...and i kinda gte the running scene one, but whatever, you have enough here to win...rising, getting better, but get stuff that disses the guy, not fake, or random shit, k? nice try v/daubs |
Voted For: Daubs
Daubs: I looked into your talent..for ages but i aint finding none and you aint elevated from battle one.. ..how the fuck you gonna be rising,sun ^^good opener ok bar 5/10 So you are rising sun..who knows where your rising from back after you left?..i never EVEN noticed you were gone ^^ehh 4/10 Fuck what you bring.. the only reason your SLIGHTLY close to me 'sing is the fact you got nearly as many losses as I have wins ^^ok personal 5/10 i find your concepts lying in bins, showin you garbage though you may be running the scene...til i snap ya cartlidge ^^ehh 3/10 i mean, your countrys even ashamed of where you come from so il just key a half ass....to own a full one ^^ok 5/10 Overall: 22/50 (44%) Rising Sun: Like ~Randy Moss~ I’m a Viking – William the Conqueror – that’ll ~wreck this British~ I ~expect to finish~, ~Dandy-Daubs~ who ~can’t stand the loss~ I ~can’t be stopped~ cause your loss is predictable like a ~bandit’s plot~ ^^decent opener ok multies but thats it 6/20 And like ~Marcus Camby blocks~, I’ll send you ~back home~ I ~crack domes~ cause I’m tight like Vida Guerra’s ~black thongs~ You could ~act strong~ but you got your ~facts wrong~ cause you got whack ~rap songs~ ^^no 3/20 If you ever wanna *blow up* you better start praying to God in ~heaven~ Cause you never rode the tube on the morning of ~July the 7th~ ^^wtf 0/10 Shallow my pride and I’ll ~die a legend~ like an Oldsmobile ~Cutlass~ Good ~luck vet~ cause I pounded you more than a slut’s ~butt gets~ Even if you were under the tutelage of Shakespeare, you couldn’t formu-late a ~couplet~ ^^last line made sense at least rest was garbage 2/20 Overall: 11/70 (16%) Vote: Daubs I Didnt even know how to judge RS's verse it was that weak RTF with an honest vote on the battle in my sig plz! |
Voted For: Daubs
v/daubs, easily opener was played though, from the sing line on it was dope, you won, good stuff...rising, man, look up some personals or something, read some tutorials, and knock off the squiggles...this was unfair rtf with an explained vote please http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=219121 |
Voted For: Rising Sun
dont do that wierd "~" thing... people know if somethings a multi or if something rhymes.. Removed |
for fucks sake shit..
that was supposed to be feedback. |
no problem, il get strobe to sort it .
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