a short freestyle
 

aiyyo i get standin ovations, when i recite poetic quotations/
crowds of asians, arabs, blacks, and even caucasians/
fell they rest with impacience, spit a freestyle with organization/
an acapella, over proper instrumentations/
spit it like me? that's highly unlikely/
so be the first to tell you that i'm not to be takin lightly/
so find me and fight me/
i'm not a rap legend, but kid you mention my name in public/
your vengence will probably catch some attention, check it/
so when you hear me use audio contrasiptive/
my erection without protection is banicle verbal conceptions/
90% of these rappers are suspicious, playin it viscious/
but i'm willing to bet that they stories are ficticious/
and to my enemies, i'm releasing extremities/
carefully plotted melodies, formulated NASA tellametry/
my dream...i finally got the strenghth to go get it/
the most said it, decided to share the flow better with styles thats poetic/
as i dispose of any foes who tryin to oppose/
fuck using arrows and bows, i chose pros and homicidal flows/

.Hot.
 

I'm likin' the way your puttin' your rhymes together. This joint flows nicely, I like the wordplay. Keep writin' yo.

really nice man-PEACE

thanks for uppin...imma make sure to peep your rhymes when you drop them...good lookin out...one

Well, this had a good flow to it but just by reading this verse I can tell you're a newbie just by the topic. Come with something original put some more thought towards what you want to write and tell about other than how ill you are or how you're going to take over... pretty much anything that's saying how you're superior to anyone else without a main story plot. You have a decent that could use minor work but you are definately elevating.

pz

^^thanks for the reply...that was just some shit off the top...it wasnt really thought out but like i said thanks for the criticism, helps me elevate...thanks for takin the time too...one