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first open mic post!!!!
ima jus key it!!!an i love honesty...dont be shy!!!!
non stop like perpetual motion,stingin like a bee like a butterfly im floatin man these bars are potent,poisen for your mind so i hope ya ears aint open realness'll have u overdosin,cuz the truth u suk be leavin ya heart 2 broken bitch niga's b soft spoken,bullets to thay mouth leave the casket closin foes aint picked mane they chosen, put on slabs, relitives like "man he frozen" so know wen'to give up for the gat starts blowin' death on the blok is non stop,dont know how deep u is till u get popped neva think youll get shot, till u relize the slug in ya chest is real hot an a bullet give a fuk if u like it or not,and dont care if its in a life alterin spot dead before you know it ya casket is dropped,while ur in hell like why did i bust dat knock............. feedbak please |
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nice multi's think I'm bout to drop sum..... but it's always good to see somebody use multi's... smh @ myself talkin like multi rappers are dead..... but anyways nice vocab... keep writing man
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nice for it being short...i like the wordplay u had going...~1~
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could use quite a bit of work, as far as structure goes, flow and everything, lyrics were bleh...keep up.
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flow was decent.. multis was decent...
a few played lines and few raw lines... all around decent drop.... RTF |
Yea needs alot of work..ya bars were strecthed, ya had some okay multi's..lyrics were blahh...there was no flow..and structure was bad.
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exactly what homo said above me..lol he's gonna be pissed when he reads this. but uhh..yea needs some work..ya need to work on ya structure n flow dude..maybe sum better vocab
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i liked it ur multis are tight man, da punchlines could of been a little stronger but overall it was a good peice of work look out for my verse called FameAss
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Work on it... You just need to play with that cadence and get little more rhythm in it. Basically all you got is some rhymin worda that don't go together to well. If you want it to flow right think to yourself "Is this something I would actually say?" like if you were going to say "Man my money's so right" but you wanted to squeeze it in by sayin "Man, so right is my money" it just won't work
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Yeah good use some work...but its okay...i guess...its to complicated....Adopt my new style and keeps things simple with a 'twist' of subliminal intellulect...ya dig...
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