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shodown (2-1) vs. .:~SoldieR~:. (0-1) vs. vafinest (0-3)
Battles go up on MONDAY Pieces are due SATURDAY (I set battles up rather late this week) Voting ends SUNDAY/MONDAY Rules can be found: here TOPICS FOR WEEK 4: here Please state who gets first, second and third place. The one with most votes will get 2 points, the second 1 and the third will be deducted 1 point. If one of them no-shows, the usual voting process is required. |
word checkity check......................................
my piece is on sacred saint or wall of pain ^^^^^....HAHAHA SHOTGUN^^^^ |
man i win already.........they never cjecked in...............or do i still have to drop!
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I suggest you drop something because I forgot to clearly state they HAD to check-in
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k
but they real in active especially VAFINEST...............o well. will drop gonna choose my topic now and will drop in like 25 minutes. |
The Wanderer He lurks in his own path, Shadow of Pain Slowly he thinks, yet tainted tears still remain dram selected, injected voices of THEORY. the thoughts pondering wit diligence vision real WEERY! haunting in his path...though his life's already made. the tim eof how to live...still not being PAID alway's delayed. scented dew from a rose, in which he picked with essence. with the soft gentle touch, he feels, he words it in every sentence. so valiantly and voul! yet wither as though he was a feather. crossin along roads with no intensions.as though he was the weather. crushed everyday from comments, SPIT, and DEGRATION. yet he still stands tall cuz he knows its in gods hands and he's gods creation. the devil lurks as well, and he knows cuz he can FEEL HIM the darkness in the devils eye's as his told truth can be Devcivin. his lies fill his minds, yet cant corrupt cuz he is the Mesiah as he is sent to vanish all sins and bring happiness to liars amd take em highah!(high ya) so as he walks down the lonley path, dont ever doubt one from the looks. as the word'd saying goes never judge one as the looks of a BOOK! |
^^there ya go MA!!!!!!!!!....................
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^Thanks :thumbup:
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Hidden Flaws Why did my dad leave, why did he flea? is it because he neva loved me? i turn on the news i see bush in disputes i see the american people cryin All of a sudden i see a plane flying it crashes into the cameraman and i see inocent people dying All of a sudden the weight crashes on my shoulder nothin could feel colder ive fallen i cant get up ~ we lost another American Soldier our fucken government made a hidden flaw how the fuck ya gonna let one of our men fall i go back and i listen to those memories that are missing i keep all the mistakes at heart and let them slip apart Cause even the gods couldnt have our problems resolved because humans in paticular have obviously evolved We make accusations through local notations how the fuck is it true ~ when these lies are inflations fuck this world wit its quotes and exclamations and every human that goes to top - eventually falls This is just our eternity of humans hidden flaws |
shodown: you approached the topic in a somewhat predictable way but it was nicely written nonetheless. I like how you express the emotion, the overall scene in an interesting, captivating manner. The flow was good, some lines were a bit stretched though. I saw you were using some assonances and alliterations which was a good add-on. The word choice was okay, could've been better here and there. It progressed nicely though, good piece!
.:~SoldieR~:. I thought the topic was nice and could've been used in several ways. Yours was interesting but I feel like you should've added more details to it. It seemed as if you rushed the piece and in the beginning the transition didn't go as smoothly as I hoped it'd be. The flow was good though, had a good narrative pace to it. Word choice was good as well. Solid! My vote goes to shodown because I feel he added more details to his piece but it was a close battle for sure! |
uppin dis - danx for the vote/feedback
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wordness now uppin for vote people...........................
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shodown got this he had much more emotion in this aswell as imagery,
i feel he also had a much better vocab, it was also interesting in how he expressed his views in this one good shit man.... soldier you came decent man but nothing special, i felt u could of did alot more in the imagery section i mean alot of times its good to leave the reader thinking or wondering , but its like everything u said was as expected be creative dude,ur emotion however was strong but could of been stronger. and boo at vafinest anyways goodjob shodown v/shodown |
Shodown wins by KO, vafinest no-showed
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