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Vango Vs. Mad Man
::::..Rules..:::: 20 Lines Minimum 30 Lines Minimum Checks Due 6-18-04 Spits Due By 6-20-04 Votes Due By 6-23-04 Topic: Blind Fury Good Luck To Both! ~R~ |
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Blind fury hmm... I'm leavin for Costa Rica, so I"m a drop hella fast.
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A stroke of genius and your life will be great
I stroke of bad luck, and your life you could hate Either way, you can't choose how the coin lands Like you can't choose to love a woman or a man But destiny always has a way of being cruel To people on the street, to me, and to you And you'll see the cruelties, if you stop and glance So many terrible things are caused by blind chance It comes as no surprise to neither his mother or his dad Nick had everything he ever wanted, his parents were so glad A Valedictorian of his class, the star on the football team Everything was going great, but that's only how it seems Nick was kinda arrogant, from talking to how he wore his bling Looked in the mirror everyday and said "I'm god's gift to everything" But many things said in jest are look into a person's heart Nick was a known "lady-killer" but they always seemed to part And start, his love life began with the hottest chick Always seemed to brag about his big dick "That spick," but he didn't care about racist remarks As long as he always was able to drive the fastest car Always out for adventure, always lookin for thrills Never paying attention to the catch phrase that "speed kills" And in his thoughts of invincibility, it was assured that he'd die Parents didn't understand as they watched sat and cry Friends invited to the funeral, but very little came They thought Nick was a good kid they couldn't deal with the shame Unable to deal with the facts, as they let there son be burried Nobody loved this "great" kid parents grew a blind fury (I needed more than that 30 lines :() |
Blind Fury- When sanity goes out the window
She was everything I could imagine, how'd she get caught up in all these lies
Just yesterday I was planning our wedding, today Im plotting her demise I can't describe these feelings, you could only imagine my surprise The day I opened up the letter that was never meant to cross my eyes The letter read "Dear Sarah, Thanks for coming to visit me last week" "Its amazing how our love has grown from just a simple kiss on the cheek" "I know you have a boyfriend,and Im sorry if loving you is a crime" "But Ive dreamt about your visit and us making love a hundred times" Now I know Im not alone and some of youve been in this boat My hands began to sweat, I felt my heart inside my throat See last weekend Sarah took a trip supposedly visiting close friends Was our love just an illusion, was everything just all pretend Just then I became enraged, A feeling like Ive never felt before A "Blind Fury" overcame me, I grabbed my coat and hit the door I slammed the gear shift in reverse, the speach I had rehearsed I'd say "Sarah why'd you do this to me?"being careful not to curse She'd say she didnt mean to hurt me, and everything would be alright She'd kiss me on the cheek while crying, and hold me tight into the night I wish I could say it went down like this but if I did well I'd be lying Cuz the only thing going thru my head, was man this BITCH IS DYING! I imagined her telling me it was over, how she met someone and was leaving That the minute my mental snapped, fuck loving her,I was getting even I pulled up at her house a strange car was running in the drive "Man I fucking knew it, Im going to beat this bitch alive" So I burst inside the house, I could feel that something just wasn't right I ran upstairs to Sarahs room, opened the door turned on the light My life was like a movie scene,but no movie could have ever wrote this plot See Sarah lied motionless on the floor, it appeared that she'd been shot Her Killer, the other boyfriend, he grasped the bloody letter in his hand It said" Im sorry I cant do this anymore, See I TRULY LOVE THIS MAN" |
Vango .:vs:. Mad Man
Vango- nice story lines. very flowing and easy to read
was building up to a much better close... i like the way you use evey last bit of space as if you got a hundred more lines to throw down Mad Man- also a very good verse. although it was a little off and uneasy to read in some places. you had a good story but i feel Vango had more of a climax ending Overall- very good by both. structure and flow otherwise good Vote- Vango. for the use of space |
mad man: decent verse...i liked the story behind your words....the whole flow was pretty consistent and the structure was good...word play was good too...wasnt much emotion in your verse....not much depth either it was more simple than it needed to be
overall : 6/10 vango: your verse was probably the best one i have seen in this topical tourney so far....great imagery...you made it feel like you was right there in the story...good plot...structure was decent...some lines were kinda stretched...very nice wordplay and meta's...and the ending was really good...solid piece overall : 9/10 vote: vango ~!1!~ |
erm..close battle
Vango i felt ur lines were too long with throught the flow off...also you didnt realy use any advance techinques...mad man..gen u didnt use advance shit..but ur flow and sturture made up for it...nether realy got goin..but then gen thurs was restricted lines so i let you off..both nice drops close but v/mad man |
Mad Man-You had some good ish your lines needed
to continue though.....You had similies and I think a lil metaphores but Mainly not that much multies Vango-Yours was good becuz you used your lines wisely...You had a good topical and I liked how you worded it...Nice imaginery and pretty good vocab v/Vango |
A'ight...this was a hot topical...Mad-Man, you need to werk on some vocab...Dad and glad?? Come on that is some elementary shit...you had good flow though, and I think your imagery was a'ight...Vango...you ripped the shit up. I was feelin' ya verse all tha way dawg...nice vocab and imagery.
Vote- Vango No hate. |
VanGo had more of a predictable angle, but I enjoyed his angle alot more than Mad Mans. Mad had very basic vocab but had a few nice lines with strong messages. Your flow went off in places and was slightly confusing, just I could not get a very good imagery from this verse. Vango, like i said, expected angle but it was done really well. I was expecting a bigger twist but it was a good story, and even sadder than I would of expected. You had more of sophisticated vocab and had lines that really painted a clear picture in my head. I really enjoyed... Quote:
Great work from both... Vote=VanGo |
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