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Terumoto (0-0) vs Thomas (0-0)
Write Away Your Thought Week One Matchup Terumoto (0-0) vs Thomas (0-0) Ok guys, we didn't have many people show for the preseason, but it is ok because the battles didn't count, and I can understand about the time restraints. Moving on, this week will count on your season record, so make every line you type, worthy of everyone's time. Please try your best to show, and if you need an extension (for whatever reason). Contact me through PM, or AIM (JonathonIsGod). If extension is granted, it will be no longer than 24 hours. Good luck to both, write hard, and try your best! Verse's Due: April 13, Friday Battles Close: April 15, Sunday Please try your best to vote on three battles. Leave links in your check. List of Topics Rules & Regulations Good luck! |
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Word, Should be good. I'll see you friday.
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Sticks and Stone.
Continuously bullied day in day out, tears flow but yet have no meaning However, Sticks and stones may break my bones but words and ish can't hurt me. My fears tessellate and bones stiffen They brush past me in the morning and my hair stands on end However, Sticks and stones may break my bones but words and ish can't hurt me. Words start to cause pain and i feel, I feel, i feel i want to hurt myself and now, Word and ish could cause my death but Sticks and stones can't hurt me. I ponder death for a moment, Sit alone and wilt away in the loo's Cry and moan, at what i've let them turn me into, Words and ish could cause my death but Sticks and stones can't hurt me. I have witnessed no violence and i've blanked out the words. So, Sticks and stones can't break my bones and words and ish can't hurt me. Blugeoned, Bloody and left to die, The sticks and stones have hurt me. Nobody comes, Nobody can hear me. I'm alone, And i have finally, Finally realised. So who ever said Sticks and Stones don't hurt? when i lie hear in a watery red pool of filth. The words and ish sound ever so bliss and i miss them o so dearly; Cause now i can't feel the words and only the hate and its at an impecable rate. |
Terumoto: good rhyme scheme, good content, sum of it was very effectively done.... i can see it goin down on a beat nicely
Spartacus: damn this was a low feel man, the emotion in there is like a dark sorrow that comes out tha words.... u can see a person from them in a perspective most people dont that makes this piece stand out a lot with such a simple wording technique all in all tho im voting for Terumoto based on effort and consistency... |
Although he had pre-written.
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v thomas i liked his piece, and he had a unique point of view, termuto verse was more about anime and ish...fuck is a sage and sakura..come on man save all that gloomy emo crap for another league..holla!
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A sage is a very wise man, like a wise elder in an old village would be considered a sage. Sakura is the Japanese name for Cherry Blossoms.
And yeah, I pre-wrote... It's impossible not to, anyway. As long as you write your verse before the moment you drop it, it's pre-written. |
well thi swas eighter way and thomas...every one pre writes so WTF?!..lol...
Ter- your verse intriguied me very vividly with emotoin you had put in ya know;... yours was very original and you switched styles form last week just showing even more of why your a high prospct in this league man.. you showed creativity and wording very well and assorted nicely man it wasnt all over the place and the flow of htings went well too man nice job. Thomas- your verse was great man really vibed to it.. it spoke with wit and humor aswell as madness and sarcasm man.. you did a excellent job in taking your topic and escalating it to another level man.. really man a nice job. Overall- i was honestly feeling ter's vers emore.. idk i was just so into his verse... i read it like 3 times... in a row for 2 days straight now im serious.. dud eit was just compelling me to read man.. it dragge dme on the ground cus of the emotion he executed. both good drop sthough nice shit here |
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sorry to freepost..but wtf my key was off the dome nikka! |
Vote: Terumoto
Your piece was nice. I liked how the story turned out. Nice rhyme scheme. OK emotion. Decent imagery. Thomas Your piece was good. You have the style-structure of a real writer. But what made you lose to me, was certain parts of your piece didn't add up. But, at the same time, I saw where you were going with it. Your wording at the end took away from the whole piece. You could've worded that better to make it SOOO dope. Good battle from both.. |
Ok, thanks for votes.
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Closed. Terumoto (1-0) beats Thomas (0-1)
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