"a newbie"
 

youll be kickin the can , pictured the damned/
a viligante man, im ignorant and/
its all about the supply and demand/
not on wallstreet but i walkstreet and walk streets/
knock you off ya block and ya hot streak/
even out ya school cuz i pop geeks/
im so bleek not memphis but im part of the roc/
x said it landed on us but im standin on top/
its not competition when my ears not listenin/
ill grab you a tall can and secretely take a piss in it/
cuz im mad at the world and mad at ya girl/
im mad at ya dad cuz he didnt control that sperm/
pissed at the bitch that let em in , not squirm/
word,, im just apart of the laughter/
you rappin for what thats a certified disaster/
this a keystyle im a offtop bastard/
i pop a top off and let my esphogus gather/
i drink cuz i think if i dont drink ill kill ya/
land of the lost i dont even want no million/
just give me the right and give me the night/
if i like how you livin jus give me yo life/
new to the board but not new to the sword/
toungue is weaponry slice fools on accord...


holla

your vocabs good and your stuff is flowing alright but perfection is never achieved and you got a ways to go

a little tip spell check your stuff

Rhyming/Flow
Was Pretty Good, The Flow However Fell Off in Some PLaces...You Need Top Work ON That, Gettin It FRom Good Up To Tight! .... 5/10

Vocab/Wordplay
You had Some Good Vocab IN Some PLaces, BUt You Need To EXpand It A Bit...You Wordplay Was Good, I Personally LIked THis Line :"not on wallstreet but i walkstreet and walk streets" - Good Attempt, Work On It THough.....7/10

Concept/Topic
I Didn't Honestly See A Correspondence Between The Title And The Gangsta Concept. You Need To PIck A Relating Title n' Concept, Preferrably One That Is True TO Life, Cos i Very Much Doubt Your "i pop geeks" ... 2/10

Overall
4/10, Work On The Above Mentioned, Vocab, FLow, n' Topic...Hope THis Helps You Elevate. Tip: Go To The Tutorial Forum, Theres Alot There That Can Help ou Tone Up Your Skills..

Word!

first time to this board yall critique the whole flow im feelin that but when i keystyle i never erase so if i spell somin wrong it stays that way,respect

Aight man,not bad for a new kat,basicallt wot rhythmic says,try and end ur bars with harder punvhes dawg,stay up.

I liked tha ending alot, a nice finish to a pretty good verse...
nothing really to say other than...

keep writing and exciting...

peace...