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-   -   Role Models... (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84266)

Chrit 10-08-03 05:15 PM

Role Models...
 
Got bored and decided to write....
So here's what came out...



Why do we strive to be like those in the limelight?...
Claw and fight to someday reach a stars height...
Athletes... Actors... Why should we want that life?...
Why would I want an existence absent pain and strife?
Seats of power sought... Blocking orignal thought...
How can I be great enslaved in values society bought?...
Youths dream of being doctors, lawyers and the like...
Supposed to look up to a Pres that can barely read or write...
Our role models with fake values... supposedly absent of fault...
Even the choir boy of the NBA is on trial for sexual assaullt...
Everyone has skeletons... So is this all media overexposure?...
I think not... As it seems all ourl idols are exposed as posers...
Come original for once... Maybe if I start a trend is can help..
Hell my hero is the criminal who always stayed true to himself...

Chrit 10-08-03 06:11 PM

Feedback????????

KnightShade 10-08-03 06:13 PM

nice drop chrit, emotion, good flow rhymed well.

love the nba shit lol

keep it up nigger like word life

Dimez 10-08-03 06:28 PM

Fo real I'm feelin' that...

Good job talkin about hopes and dreams and actors...

My hero is "The Hurricane"

dotn know if u saw that movie... but I always did public speeches on him

well anywho

fav lines:

Claw and fight to someday reach a stars height...
Athletes... Actors... Why should we want that life?..
^ ye i wonder why too.
Why would I want an existence absent pain and strife?
^so true
Seats of power sought... Blocking orignal thought...
How can I be great enslaved in values society bought?...


GOOD JOB!

keep the hot stuff commin'

~DIMEZ~

Chrit 10-08-03 07:26 PM

Thanks for the feedback

Keep it comin

MonStar 10-08-03 07:34 PM

nice drop, flowed well, vocab and everything was good....i was feelin it..

Seats of power sought... Blocking orignal thought...
How can I be great enslaved in values society bought?...

nice shit ^...liked the kobe line too...

keep droppin

C-Section 10-08-03 08:28 PM

you had a nice idea, but in the beggining you started off with 10 syllables in each line and it flowed nice but towards the end it was up to 20, it kind of threw off the flow, if your going to rhyme 20 syllables in one line you need some inners so it flows better.

like the last 2 lines they rhymed better cause you hadd inner rhymes

people might be afraid to tell you anythign is wrong but im not, hopefully you respect that, i expect you to do the same if i ever return to open mics. speak the truth fuck all this groupie shit.

OH SHIT I LEFT THE LOUNGE!

Chrit 10-08-03 08:30 PM

^^^

Whoa!!!

Yeah man...
Its actually a more potery type piece...
Hence the syllable counts...

Good to see someone be real

Kwik 10-08-03 08:43 PM

Can't help likin' your shit, man. Keep on pimpin'

KLINIK 10-08-03 08:49 PM

Quote:
Got bored and decided to write....
So here's what came out...



Why do we strive to be like those in the limelight?...
Claw and fight to someday reach a stars height...
Athletes... Actors... Why should we want that life?...
Why would I want an existence absent pain and strife?
Seats of power sought... Blocking orignal thought...
How can I be great enslaved in values society bought?...
Youths dream of being doctors, lawyers and the like...
Supposed to look up to a Pres that can barely read or write...
Our role models with fake values... supposedly absent of fault...
Even the choir boy of the NBA is on trial for sexual assaullt...
Everyone has skeletons... So is this all media overexposure?...
I think not... As it seems all ourl idols are exposed as posers...
Come original for once... Maybe if I start a trend is can help..
Hell my hero is the criminal who always stayed true to himself...


that was nice homeboy! i liked it! nice flow and nice usuage of words. nice topic, you described it well. keep elevatin homeboy! holluh at yuh boy! 1!

Edicius 10-08-03 08:51 PM

This was kinda deep dawg , ...i liked ur concept,....and it flowed well, ...and ^ must agree some statements C stated, ...but still this was a decent drop


Can u hit up Twisted ^^

Pz

maxximum 10-09-03 12:09 PM

yeh this shit waz deep...
flow:7/10
wordplay:8/10
multi's:3/10
rhymes:6/10
overall:6/10 (not lookin great but it sure was!)
peace!

Chrit 10-09-03 12:31 PM

Thanks for the feedback

BlUnT-MC 10-09-03 12:48 PM

damn, i ain't seen u do an open mic before, but i gotta say it was sick, flow was mor of a 9 then a 7 that maxx gave you, in other words textcees don't know what flow is 'cause they don't do audio, so you know what i'm say'n... he topic was good and came off real nice, i liked the NBA bar, shit fit in real smoothly.. all an' all for a bored piece, this was damn good... 1

Mr.Christensen 10-09-03 12:51 PM

aight this is good for a few reasons
1..it has similar idea as an open mic i did (chirts biting off me!!)
2..the kobe line was good....im his greatest living fan

flow was on point..good job there
vocal multies both ILL
nothing lacked... great drop

heres the one it sounds like
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80529

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84159


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