Life Battles
 

Tech Verse

Get up every day and feel like im in the pits
the pain stings so bad like havin wrists slit
flippin out. while my mind skips..all the badness filled
along with the emotion and havin all the sadness filled
battles with stress 2 depressed to even walk out
im happy for a second den next im 2 stressed 2 talk out
starting to fall down i dont think i can make it alone
need someone special by my side someone dat'll keep me known
old memories scattterd imbedded in my head
thought's of dieing scare me, they dont escape and spread
remember life is a battle, and im saying to teach people
never back down on wot u start. humans are all equal
like math's equals and negetives, try produce positives
haha and we seek our goals dudes thats our main objective
try ignore the past, because for some it was kinda trash
but dont let the past put you down kick it in the ass
like the sayin nothing last forever, its very true
with the experiences i went through, urs aint compared 2
Express how u feel with the stress, and your skill
lifes a battle just gotta reach the top of the game u feel
Dont let wack mc's say u aint good enough, cuz we all learning
and everybody got different agenders, Life keeps on turning

Not bad....your writing at an beginner level, not much imagry even tho its filled with an easily depicted emotion your word choice and vocabulary could be better to add more depth and interest to the piece but still its a pretty complete drop which deserves props just work on lengthing it out so I should end abruptly and although this may be a personal experience that many whom started out can relate to it's however a mediocre topic which has been done countless times. Not bad though and also you shouldn't use slang or slanted rhymes in your piece just to make it flow....slang isn't good for writing and if your going to abbreviated words abbreviated them all to show consistancy.

Oh and make sure you drop to links or I will have to close your piece

-Forum Mod