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Never been the over-confident type, its like my hearts damaged
& my hopes have began to vanish deep into Deceit and anguish
Mind damaged by mis-conceptions, but settle, i've made a plan:
"Its not the cards you are dealt, but the way you play your hand"
Take a stand against the masses,
dont allow them to pull you under
The meaning of life?
A Calendar. all our Days are Numbered.
a Slave to the slumber,
but i'll fight with answers
and write what i believe in,
just to higher the standard.
cause Twilight in a stanza, create something to test the loops
I - D E S E R V E - M O R E - P R O P S - im stetchin' the truth!
what i pen speaks for itself. . although im amazing with verbs,
infact, ive not had a relationship last since i Played On Words!
its like the Matrix merged,
and captured my raptured soul
as the Couch Potato generation,
fell under Remote Control
then through a hole in the fabric,
i witnessed the earths fate
we had a date with Destiny,
and slammed the door in her face!
Morphing with space and time, im at one with the omniverse
Lost my nerve, climbed my minds platform, forgot the words.
Stopped the serge of hopelessness. .i made something of life
toughened inside, i'll Write Nothing, if theres Nothing to write.
Kept up with the times,
im, simple & devine. .
Faced the facts
and waved back at Individuals Minds.
the Jewel that shines,
Diamond in the rough,
wont budge along
and all those that are Loving The Song, are Judging It Wrong.

This will be my last piece at RB for a while, so i wanted to go out on a high.

ikluyjhute4r3t45r

I suppose I should give you a good responce then, huh?

your flow was on point, even if you didn't break up some of the bars, and broke up others.
the wordplay was as usual. (of the fo shizzle, gankstuh!)
you brought out a sense of hopelessness, as well as promoting yourself and your generation.
It was a sort of "Yeah, we have no where to go but down. Fuck you too".
If I'm getting it right.

best lines:
The meaning of life?
A Calendar. all our Days are Numbered

we had a date with Destiny,
and slammed the door in her face!

what i pen speaks for itself. . although im amazing with verbs,
infact, ive not had a relationship last since i Played On Words!


those really stood out, but the whole piece was phenominal.
I'd nominate it for a legend, but you already have like 20 in there ;)

oh, and check out my collab with flipnautix, called shadows of doubt

peace

^ Yeah, that was the basic concept, hench the last line.
I'll reply to yours when i get a little time, but thanks for the legends nomination - i dont have a piece in there under this alias : )

yo, i was feelin' the flow... you commented on mine to work on imagery... I'll say the same 2 you... you skipped thru ideas too quick..
"Take a stand against the masses,
dont allow them to pull you under
The meaning of life?
A Calendar. all our Days are Numbered.
a Slave to the slumber,
but i'll fight with answers
and write what i believe in,
just to higher the standard.
cause Twilight in a stanza, create something to test the loops"

you had like 4 seperate thoughts in there.. it flowed an' whatnot but could've been conveyed more clearly...

I like your use of vocab an' deep wordplay... you usually bring that tho.. ummm, all I can really say other than that is tighten up ur flow a littel, some places it dropped off... some beats do that, but I odn't know what u wrote it to or where certain bridges are..

1

i was at awe this was hot blunt pointed the only bad side but it wasnt to bad so i think it came tight keep doing you twin

Nope, you see - this wasnt the type of piece where i need imagery, if you read my stuff as Camarac, you'll notice my imagery when i use it, but pieces like this one dont need it, its just about flow / multi's / wordplay, just writing something to show the newer heads how its done. Its wrote to a beat ive had for this mixtape that we didnt end up using, but thanks anyways. .

you just totally contradicted ur'self... that's how my piece and all my other pieces are... an' u just finished telling me to work on imagery.. lol... just thought i'd point that out

^ Nope, what i said was work on your imagery for when you do a piece to a set topic like love / hate / revenge - that type of stuff.

If it came across like that, i apologise, but thats what i meant at least. : )

a'ight...tha's cool, I don't do those cheese pieces ne-way... my shit's just tha sick shit,...

lol.

uijh6euj

yo man...very dope drop, basically everything Understatement said, is what I thought...Some very dope lines in there, overall very dope piece...

dont allow them to pull you under
The meaning of life?
A Calendar. all our Days are Numbered.

we had a date with Destiny,
and slammed the door in her face!

what i pen speaks for itself. . although im amazing with verbs,
infact, ive not had a relationship last since i Played On Words!

and all those that are Loving The Song, are Judging It Wrong.

Rhyming/Flow
Was O.k, The Bras Could've Been More of The Same Length, They Were Awful "messy", You Know..Sort Of If It Was Just Typed Quickly Or Jotted Or Something...But It was O.k, It balanced Our Pretty Well...7/10

Vocab/Wordplay
NIce Wordplay In here Dawg, "toughened inside, i'll Write Nothing, if theres Nothing to write", nice line There Dawg..Good Vocab As Well, But It was Average..7/10

Concept/Topic
Hopelessness As UNderstate... Said...Nice Collection Of Thoughts, But I Could'nt Find One Exact Toic, But As You Said..You Didn;t Need Imagry...6/10

Overall
7/10, Was Good, Not Your Best Mind You...Sad To Here Your Not Droppin' Anything For A While, ...

Word!