Real..........as................hell
 

What do you do about a menace that Dennis/
took a look at and couldn't even finish his sentence/
pennance for instance of sin against repentance/
sent it out to the public in lyrical form and meant it/
and even put all of my true friends in it
and when it rumbles and crumbles down like rocks on ya head/
stand sturdy like lead and be as hard as you said/
cuz I'm dead tired of bringin fire to the liars/
and gettin booed off cuz of my skin color and retired/
at eighteen my slate's clean and gait's mean/
so people try and remove the hinges with a lame team/
but they seem to forget that G.O.B. is the truist/
the bluist in face dude that's in love with the music/
use it against me and desensed me so you tell me I'm losin it/
abusin it like the game was my red headed step child/
wild accusations thrown but not phasin the one leavin you beguiled/
on trial cuz my rhymes are tougher than the law/
if I fell off tomorrow everybody be sayin awww/
you remeber the embers of the fire he burned/
and dismembered anyone lyrically with every win he earned/
and churned the stomach of rappers who hate him/
and debate and view him goin through them and creatin/
beautiful music to inspire the long line of rooks
and taken the hatred away and convincin change out of crooks/

This needs more internals , and a better vocab , flow was iite, ..elevate..

And follow rules, else this will be deleted.. = )

i liked the shit, got thrown off in a couple places but keep workin i was feelin were you was commin from, and hold em down

ya flow got going...but was missing complexity......vocab could be improved.....it was ok....but didnt really interest me.....it was decent though...jus could be improved...but most can so....jus keep at it...pZ

^what he means by that is leaving 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to, incase you didnt know.

But this was ok...structure in this was alright, could be touched up a bit though..vocab could be better, up that then.....also try adding some multies and internals like said before...flow was alright i thought....but overall this was ok....but keep at it.