Just some shit i did at work today (straight though)
 

I wrote this tryin to work at the same time

Comments Please

Fuck with CB, you gonna have to duck from CB,
you gonna see deas, nuts on your honey,
Nothin's funny, but you played out boy rabbits,
this guns G, you faggots are on earth just to get your ass kicked,
Livin large and lavish,unstash it,
cut it, flip it, and wrap it,
that quick, for stacks kid,
saw it, stock it, cock it,
yall hide but can't dodge it,
Cracka'll blast worst than a keg of whoop ass cus,
Yall niggas fake like push up bra's,
ya'll can't brawl, i'll push your broad,
fill her jaw, with somethin long n hard,
fuck her raw, like there's not tomarrow,
No pain, no sorrow

Reviewed:
A.T.
Viscocity
Diss to viscocity

Comments!!!!!!!

well...this wasnt too good...but since ya was at work..well you couldn't have put much into it....the structure was a bit fucked....dont really like self glorification type......so...nah....pZ

yeah this wasnt that good.....you need to work on things....like your structure, try keeping all your lines around the same length so it helps the flow out.....try adding some multies to this and internals as well...but just keep at it.

yeh u structure was well off man ( i always do t)
try ta make y liek like

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or as close as posible

n try ta work on a rhyme cheme cos iw asnt feelin 1
but ov thn that is all gud keep at it