Young Child-Sucidal
 

A Week Before
||..A Week Being Hated On By Parents,Everything Has Gone Wrong Signals Of Depression..
||..People Go Through Bad Days, Good Days,Life Gets Better But ||..He Coulden't Get The Message..
||..He Was Tired Of Life,He Checked His List,Everything Finished He Was Set..
||...He Was Ready To Look Into The White Light,With No Regrets..
Hours Before The Incedent
||..He Was Ready To Die At The Age Of 17..No Need To Get Old..
||..He Wanted To End it From The Beginning,Just A Story Un-Told..
||..His Parents Neglected Him,But That'd Be The Last Time They'd See His Face..
||..No One Would Leave Him Alone,He Desprately Needed 2 Go To A Secret Place..
The Incedent
||..He Got High While Driving,But He Diden't Know This Was A One Time Thrill..
||..He Leaves The Car,Slits His Wrist The Last Sight Was The Blood Spill..
||..There Was No Turning Back Now It Happened,This Was The Night..
||..He Now Could Say "Fuck You" 2 Everyone As He Walked Into The Whitelight..
||..He Doesen't Regret This Night,Now He Could Look Over Everyone From Above..
||..Now He Knows Chicks Are A Waste Of Time,He Did This All For The Love..
The AfterMath
||..His Mother Found Out What Happened This Morning,The Funeral Was Today..
||..She Watched Them Bury His Corpse,She Diden't Know What To Say..
||..Even Though This Has Conspired,She Still Hates The Grave In He Lay..
Uppin'
I Doubt It Is Legend Material,Nomanite If You Think So

Uppin' This

Up^

it aint a bad piece...i've seen this kinda thing done before but it aint a bad piece..it was nice and i could see it happenin so therefore you kept me interested but a few things could be approved like vocab and structure..good job tho..keep elevatin..

Thanx,
Uppin'

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..this was a decent piece..nothing unusal I must say..but your content was fairly well done..vocab was alright..keep up the good work..

To me, this was a good solid piece. What you wanted to get out was got out. And it was all fairly methodical. Withouth losing too much emotion.

That was also its bad points. A bit too rigid. Too robotic at times.

Nonetheless, it was relatively good.

..resp...

Thanks For The Love Ya'll.Uppin' This

this was a good read, a good write. i thought you could have had a better intro to the piece thou, but the outro was pretty good. you gave some good details, which brought it alive some. emotion was pretty good. i could feel it. structure was simple, but didnt take away from the piece. nice drop

~Tera~
DONT HATE

this is a real nice work. everything is straight, nuthin bad about it but nuthin particulairly special. still liked it tho. good shit man, is there any background story on this?

^^Yup There Is,
I Wrote This About A Close Friend Of Mine Named Ian Walsh.He Commited Sucide One Night,Over Some Girl Who Woulden't Go Out With Him,
It's Amazing What Affects Love Has On Us
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