My Rage...
 

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...617#post1004617
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...624#post1004624
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...634#post1004634

I was going threw a depressed rageful state.
and I vented Freestyle...This is the lyrics to my audio
for my third track..

Rage Released

Right Portion Of Mental...

Rippin the Devil and his Minions,..Slicing threw
any deadly competition,...With writtens of photic
lyrics... That set the demises of evil spirits,..It's the
Sane scientist aka Bio*Chemist...Releasing
Cataclysmic violence,...Silence any whispers of
evil approaches,..lurking like deadly Vultures..
Summoning suicidal acts like partaking in
ritual of culture.....My scripts does sculptures
like God's hand-prints inscripting Ten..
Commandments....


Middle Portion Of Mental..

Head potent no one can break my thoughts..
Psychiatrist makes me snore....Help my course.?
You will feel impotent....I quote scriptures
from the bible to leave demons frozen...Hasten
as I dash slices threw abs,.. when I slide....
Daggers to thighs..pens to eyes....Look at
my.. writtens in retrospect vision I make in-
cession like redundant flows that pierces
humans...Leaving em crimson..but me.I only
fear one and That's God and the Son...


Left Portion Of Mental...

More rage just like the same of each..
Portion of my Right and Middle, brain..Feel
my ultimate mind, soul and body get released
and destroy anything..everything is breached..
Busting holes threw speakers as my mental
speaks...Bass wave links sending messages
to my mind is why I think.....In kept
rage in my center ..full capacity..being forced
out on an unfortunate victim..Spit bars that kills
germs..causes you to crap tap worms...Grab fire
and..flow with the ocean...Drift threw wind..and
body individuals with my motion....Thugs bust
shots from instruments...My rage thrust thoughts
leaving thugs from guns to Musicians...Leaving
heads moving back and forth is just a few signs
of a Bio*Chemist's symptom...

Booooooooommm!!!!

Critique please...

i liked this, it was unique, the way you had 3 paragraphs it was easy to understand and follow, you had a good flow nice structure and some very thought out lines, keep it up man pz

nice concept

pretty original which is nice

good job

stay up

Thanks a lot....for your opinions....it's appreciated..

yeah, very origional scheme and idea, kinda reminded me of the structure Chrit used once..it was aiight..the thing i would tell you to improve on is vocab..some of the emotion would have came across better had you used various teqniques..flow was spot on.

man i on this like white on rice... i mean this was good like chicken and hot sauce... i was feelin like a skinny bitch fuckin a big black dick... ya unda stand... shyt was on point like Glen Rice shootin the Three... yeah killer instinct type ish... good shyt dunno... get at em

caesar on3

i gotta agree with the majority on this...nice concept and well executed...kept me interested...so...good work...pZ

Yeah i agree...this was pretty good piece here....made a pretty good read i thought....flow in this was good, it stayed on point through out it, never really fell off...concept was good as welll...overall this was a good piece here....keep at it.

Thanks once again...

Laters..

..your concept was very unique..it is very 'refreshing' to read something like this once in a while..your flow was also on point...overall a very nice piece..

I liked da way you killed dat flow and had to read it over to finally pick up your unique rhyming scheme. It was some phat shit dat I liked and jus keep working at it and write, write, write to get better all da time. if it was a song on a new realesed CD I would definantly have to cop it. good job yo, it's good stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




peace out man

^couldn't have said it better my man..nice drop on the real...u had nice thought put into this....great vocab....and a good flow along with a nice structure....keep up the good work and keep reppin

peace

Ight...thanks again for the critiques and comments...


Laters...

This was very well worded. It flowed flawlessly and the vocab wasn't bad at all. You had some well thought out lines like Smoka said. Structure was good. You stayed on topic well. Overall great piece. Keep it up.

The way you structured your flow is really something. I never seen nobody do it like you dog. Fuck dat, you are o.g and thats tight. Not only the way your wrote it, but the vocabulary is sick and real deep. tight.