The Rath of War
 

Replied to:
Deva
ak-mixa
kmfrob
Bio Chemist

soldiers walk deathtraps in this war torned country/
not even knowing for what and why they are fighting/
Just followin orders, nails they be bighting, grip tightning/
fear inflicts their senses, death could come like lightning/
instant flash, dissapearing from the earth's path so frightning/
so i sing a song for the disposable heroes fighting strong/
Holding on to their guns in an occupied territory gettn bombed/
trying to find an enemy they cant see in the smoke's fog/
could be a mother, da father, or a child strapped with tnt/
violently war has to be without pitty, heartbreaking like petty/
last dance with maryjane comforts a part of a soldier's brain/
unable to vanish the reason for a conflict like a shit stain/
still, they remain, soldiers bred for war to witness da gore/
of mankinds evil capabilities to get superiority in this planet/
These are the puppets held by da master who has no answer/
just enough nukes to inflict the whole world with cancer/

Hmmm...Good Structure On This Piece...Wit The Title The Wrath Of War, I Expected You To Express Deeper Feelings And Emotions...But What You Put Down Was Ok...Vocab Was Simple But Effective In Areas..

These are the puppets held by da master who has no answer/

I Liked That Line..

Overall An Ok Piece...Keep Elevating..

Check Out The Link In My Sig, And Also The Collab Wit Edicius..

thank you dog, i appreciate and notice the problem with my flow. i do need to get deeper with the flows.

ak-mixa feels dis shit even though it's simple everytings good could use a little bit of bigger vocabulary but wasn't really needed in this topic, good job!!!!!!!!

I give it a 6/10

thanks ak, i appreciate the replie. i'll be checking yo shit out dog. we both got to get a little collabo going.

..decent piece..your content was nice..but I agree with 'N' with your title I did expect to see something a little deeper in to the subject than this..but this was alright..

This was alright i thought.....your structure in this piece was much better than all your other pieces I've seen from you, keep that up....flow in this was alright....vocab was ok, should be up'd though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

I liked dis shit it was real