I Was Just Thinkin
 

replied-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99001

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99254

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99072


just decided to write somethin ...no reason.no real topic just thinkin.




hear it is a story of untoled proportions,
mistold contortions and ugly distortions,
is it misfourtune or just bad luck,
not bein able to focuz cuz star struck,
does god give a damn,or not giv a fuck,
how many prayers can he hear,
when hes deaf to the devils fear,
or does he just cover his ears,
cuz hes tired of untrue tears,
stears us in the right direction,
but we always go astray,
gives us the path to perfection,
but we always turn to disaray.
and we wonder why we all misery(mis-a-ray)
wait till the next tomorrow day we say,
we'll turn it around and go the other way,


not done just fuckin around...tell me waht u think

You used the same links as your last drop you did today...get new links and PM them to me, this is Closed for now...I will re-open it once you give me different links.



re-opened

Uppin give me some feedback on this please............................................ .................................................. .......

it rhymes, it makes sense, its phat..... no doubt... cant wait to the whole thing...

pretty decent shit had good vocab nice punches had goos concept made sense i'll give it a 8/10


can u place an honest vote on my battle in return fo peepin ya piece thanx


-chuuch

Thanks for the feedback...keep it comin............................................. .................................................. ........

UPPIN please give me somemore feedback on this piece............................................. .................................................. .....

Please give me some feedback.......................................... .................................................. .

Well I'm new... but if you check my posts... I always keep it real.

The piece had a good concept and a nice energy. But, I have to say that I am happy to hear that it's not your final draft. I say this because there are alot of mispellings in it... which I feel take away from the piece. An Open Mic as I understand is not a timed spit like a battle. And it's not a quick reply / post that you just typed real quick. Even though you should make sure you are spelling things right always... it's most important in an Open Mic in my opinion, when you are not under pressure to "get it out".

Words like:
Hear = Here
Untoled = Untold
Stear = Steer
disaray= disarray

But all in all keep elevating Man... I could've just commented on the content, which was cool, but that's not how I do.