Feedback would be appreciated
 

I'm well-read and have a decent vocabulary, do you have advice on how i can elevate?

And explain to me why i didn't take this battle.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101556

Thanks.

post ure verse in open mic

vocab cant make up for punches and personals
they need to be fresh and witty

lol, to tell the truth, you got screwed out of a victory here. Under's votes were jsut dickriding votes. Your verse was much more complex which is why it is harder for the herbs to understand. They fail to understand your rhyming scheme and style as most were just dick riding votes so they could get on his good side. Overall, you won this battle hands down...sumtymes shit happens tho.

You won man. How the elevate further is not a question you should ask me, that is for an experienced vet, but I can tell you that you won that battle.

i didnt read the battle cuz im lazy to click the link but if PaYce is right go and make a claim at the I.R.

peace

Baptize ya short stature with fire 'cuz this dual ain't fair-in-height,
Dreams of ya wackness haunt you so you can't even sleep tight!,

Yeah good opener, I like the way you structured it but it was getting long and thats the one thing you dont want in text-long bars because it ruens the flow and thats what most importin


I encourage this bitch to bite but there's something he don't get,
When I gave pussy that advice, i meant for him to bite the bullet!,

I really dont understand these lines because might be an inside thing or something but the stuff I do no... When I read this it made me me slow it down- "bullet" is a fast sayin word so when you say it fast it makes it the flow off-to make the flow sound good how would have to read it like bul-let// this is just me but I never try to use the same word twise in a bar. " Bite @wise" for the second time I would have put like " chew the bullet"// Those are just little things dont get down on them

Falsely claimin' ya life ghetto, that's the definition of a white lie...,
I'll have ya down in the dumps like how unwanted children die!..,

second bar was tight- the first bar made no sense that wasnt a white lie- a white lie is when u say something to make someone feel better or not let them get hurt that was nothing in those terms

From emcee town?, give me a break so i can go off on ya limbs,
RB's MY stomping ground so i slam my boot into ya fucking chin,

I think that was your only played and wack line..it speaks for itself

Defile ya soft smile until this clown bitch understands i'm hostile,
And get off ya high horse, we know ya prefer to ride doggystyle!,

HAHAHA lamo that was classiq u redemend yourslef all I have to say


If power really corrupts, you're a symbol of purity you unknown,
Loner can't come out of his shell, so i fire shells INTO his dome!,

first line was irrelavent to the other really it made it make no sense

Thinkin' ya can be good just because Smoka's reppin ya shit crew,
The bottom line is you're not UnderRated, this merkings OverDue!

DAMN hottest line of your verse it was great look at that line for a example the next time your write

All in all good verse man keep at it


if anyone needs any help or want me to look over there shit hook me up at aim- truthugsfeerless