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-   -   My HardKnOck LiFe...... (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=101884)

southsideloco 12-28-03 02:02 PM

My HardKnOck LiFe......
 
replied to:
WORD-PERFECT
Skiddz
Rhythmic Tendicies


Took sum time on this...hope its a good read fo yall

(speaking)
Its a Hardknock life fo me.....a ghetto.....ima stoned kid........

(ME)
Thats wut i am, strait up...all my life is a ghetto
im like a WOODEN kid wit an adult named GEPETTO
i dont know emotion cuz of my stoned heart
i got a stoned brain so u know i aint that smart
i dont show mercy to no1 cuz i dont know pain
ive grown up a hard kid wit cold blood in his veins
(FaMilY)
my family...is torn apart,women get rapped,n men get deported
luck fo me n my sistas my gaurdians got child abuse reported
i dunno wut to do im the youngest in my gene pool
my sistas tryin to make money by pleasurin horny fools
thats a day 2 day profit fo dem while i go rob wut eva i can
or sell that weed jus so my sistas can take a retirement plan
(NoW)
well that was 3 years ago so shit has calmed down
now im a kid tryin to elevate to spit verbs,metaphors,n nouns
my family is where eva so it really dont matta
i chill wit my cousins livin by the gun n blood splatta
so i got a hard knock life n i still got my life ahead
been 15 years n im suprised i still aint buried n dead
im grateful to god for keepin me safe n alive
thank u for helpin me keep a cool strive n jive




hope its a good piece....

uppin fo feedback

Peace

WORD~PERFECT 12-28-03 03:05 PM

POP THIS HAD A GREAT CONCEPT BUT TROJECTION LACKED YOU WENT TO CIMPLE AND YOUR DETAIL IN RHYME LEFT MUCH FOR THE MIND TO WONDER....TALENT FLOW AND EFFORT WHERE THERE VISIOUSLY JUST NEEDS A RE READ AND SOME COMPLEXITY
BUT THIS ISNT HORRIBLE

Menik 12-28-03 06:15 PM

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure was alright it could use some work here and there though i think...try adding some multies to it to make it better....Your flow was alright, it stayed on point through out it....but keep at it.

Phoeniix 12-28-03 08:51 PM

damn thats some serious shit right there.

too bad you are lying and just got high with your friend and made a joke. that peice sucked!

Rural Thug 12-29-03 04:43 PM

go flow, shame about the story.it would be nice to hear something different from time to time but still good and listenable.

FanTa ZeE 12-29-03 05:36 PM

quite a simple played out piece..worked ok..like Masta said, flip in some multis and your halfway there..improve your emotion..this wasn't a drop that was meant to strike peoples hearts..but even so...it would have made it better.


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