My HardKnOck LiFe......
 

replied to:
WORD-PERFECT
Skiddz
Rhythmic Tendicies


Took sum time on this...hope its a good read fo yall

(speaking)
Its a Hardknock life fo me.....a ghetto.....ima stoned kid........

(ME)
Thats wut i am, strait up...all my life is a ghetto
im like a WOODEN kid wit an adult named GEPETTO
i dont know emotion cuz of my stoned heart
i got a stoned brain so u know i aint that smart
i dont show mercy to no1 cuz i dont know pain
ive grown up a hard kid wit cold blood in his veins
(FaMilY)
my family...is torn apart,women get rapped,n men get deported
luck fo me n my sistas my gaurdians got child abuse reported
i dunno wut to do im the youngest in my gene pool
my sistas tryin to make money by pleasurin horny fools
thats a day 2 day profit fo dem while i go rob wut eva i can
or sell that weed jus so my sistas can take a retirement plan
(NoW)
well that was 3 years ago so shit has calmed down
now im a kid tryin to elevate to spit verbs,metaphors,n nouns
my family is where eva so it really dont matta
i chill wit my cousins livin by the gun n blood splatta
so i got a hard knock life n i still got my life ahead
been 15 years n im suprised i still aint buried n dead
im grateful to god for keepin me safe n alive
thank u for helpin me keep a cool strive n jive




hope its a good piece....

uppin fo feedback

Peace

POP THIS HAD A GREAT CONCEPT BUT TROJECTION LACKED YOU WENT TO CIMPLE AND YOUR DETAIL IN RHYME LEFT MUCH FOR THE MIND TO WONDER....TALENT FLOW AND EFFORT WHERE THERE VISIOUSLY JUST NEEDS A RE READ AND SOME COMPLEXITY
BUT THIS ISNT HORRIBLE

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure was alright it could use some work here and there though i think...try adding some multies to it to make it better....Your flow was alright, it stayed on point through out it....but keep at it.

damn thats some serious shit right there.

too bad you are lying and just got high with your friend and made a joke. that peice sucked!

go flow, shame about the story.it would be nice to hear something different from time to time but still good and listenable.

quite a simple played out piece..worked ok..like Masta said, flip in some multis and your halfway there..improve your emotion..this wasn't a drop that was meant to strike peoples hearts..but even so...it would have made it better.