RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   Max Payne (keystyle) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=102076)

Antonio Banderas 12-29-03 11:47 AM

Max Payne (keystyle)
 
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...100#post1026100
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102020
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...096#post1026096

{Intro Story}
I've cracked brains to leave my enemies thoughtless while I act insane
Ever since my wife was slained I converted to the mercilous Max payne
I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose
Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome
I've played with death for years, so my soul is taking a gamble
I use to be claimed top detective, the way I was breaking all scandle
Now my contracts been released, and I'm a self proclaim free agent
I'm bout to prance upon my prey until their face bleed's fragrant

Penskills 12-29-03 11:50 AM

..Not bad..a little short..but..I guess that's why they call it yhe 'Intro...^^

Antonio Banderas 12-29-03 12:00 PM

Yeah, my written is coming tommorrow. Will be way better than this keystyle....

~CeRtiFieD~ 12-29-03 12:05 PM

its aight, lil short, waiting to see the rest when its done.

feedback preciated,.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102059

Menik 12-29-03 02:50 PM

Yeah this was alright i thought....structure was alright in this....flow was alright, it stayed on point through the piece...didnt fall off really, some spots but very little....you had some good multies in there...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

Echo 12-29-03 03:22 PM

It was good. I would've liked to read more. But good piece

BaG oF SkILLz 12-29-03 03:27 PM

It was a overall original decent flow, Had decent flow...I wanna see it when its finished...one

Antonio Banderas 12-29-03 04:09 PM

Thanks guys for your comments.....

NewPort 12-29-03 04:17 PM

not bad.. i didn't know if this was about you or the
game tho.. lol specify on that shit. not bad for it being
short.. i liked it, not bad

hit it up
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102145

Antonio Banderas 01-01-04 04:04 PM

uppin for any last minute feedback

Alter 01-06-04 03:54 PM

short, quite good though, you need to work on the legth of your rhymes

Chaotic Tyrant 01-06-04 04:17 PM

again short....but vey nice..props indeed

keep it up

Silverback 01-06-04 10:02 PM

...Give You Props For Originality...
...Make Ya Lines Shorter...
...Plus, If You Gonna' Make This A "Written," Make This Rhyme...
"I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose
Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome"

mulletstation 01-07-04 01:30 AM

nice. nice. very true to the video game.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:02 AM.