North Korea
 

This is what goes on in N. Korea:

At daylight's break, for U.S. soldiers its hiding time
bitter enemies, cast stares across the dividing line
reproachful looks from generals, coaching nations
men on the 13th parallel, having vivid negotiations
intimidations, when they leave they better zoom. .
N. Koreans brought metal guns in a sweaty room. .
we turned the temperature up, ha, once was cruel
& made the nuclear capable bastards uncomfortable
they leave the room, their alert fights risen fear
cuz by nightfall. . . on goes the night vision gear
its like a prisn here, rice for the people, nuthin else
& stop investin in weapons, give em sum fukin help


im done, cuz i just lost interest. . i'll drop my 3 links soon.

hey bitches, i said reply. whats that mean to ya'll?

link one (not the greatest break down ever):
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...335#post1029335

link two http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...337#post1029337

forget the third one. i reply to 6 times of these as i create. if you want to close it close it, be my guest. i will reply to 5 tomorrow. you have my word. pz

link three http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...993#post1030993

I, for one, really liked this. You have your structure down really well and there were some vivid images here as well. This was really to the point, nothing was unneccessary which is something i can appreciate because i have difficulty doing that in my own verses. I really liked the 13th parralel part but overall i think this goes together best as a piece, not one standout line. Good work man, keep writing!

thought ya got the topic across well...seemed quite meaningful.....flow was ok...seemed a touch poetic in places...and seemed a bit basic....but it came across well as a piece...good..pZ

you had a nice rhyme scheme here, was basic but effective...you amde good sue of your knowledge of vocab to make the rhymes more meaningful n' complex...

"reproachful looks from generals, coaching nations
men on the 13th parallel, having vivid negotiations
intimidations, when they leave they better zoom. .
N. Koreans brought metal guns in a sweaty room. . " - thought that was tight, fitted in with what is aid above...

NIce concept, original. North Korea has always been a mysterious place to me, glad someone picked up a pen n' wrote about it, you played it well adding nice imagination n' imagry into it...

3/5 - would give it a 4 but i felt that it was too short, needed another verse or so to add mroe depth to it...nice nonetheless.

can you return the favour...?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=101062

hehe feebs...well your verse did do what I think it was supposed to do...I did capture the image you were trying to establish in my head...but I guess being young, and canadian...I do not fully understand what you are talking about which made it kind of hard for me to really feel what you were saying. overall...I like it, rap with a touch of poetry...to me, thats a great combo, it adds to the flow and gives your verse more meaning...espically when your trying to create an image as you were here.

Good verse.