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A Second Chance
You go to sleep, and never wake up.. explain what do you do during that time / dream of. Spit. .. as my visions Fade Away, into distant Shades of Grey Memories start floodin back of all the childish Games we Played & how nothing's Stayed the Same, compared to the Life i'd Lived Once a Fettle Clown .. i was Settled Down w. a Wife and Kids Their the Guys i Miss most, when i Sit and Think about them .. Every Minute of Every Day, i Sit and Think about them .. Now with Eyes Wide Shut, there's Nothing i Would Like .. .. more than a Second Chance to bid them all Good Bye . . . A second chance to say what id often Attempt to Speak A second chance to reveal what they truly Meant to Me A second chance to state what i meant to Say from the Start A second chance to say they'll always have a Place in my Heart A chance to tell them the truth, before i met the Lord's Gaze .. Cause a second is all it Takes, to Take you to Your Grave .. . . . .. See, there's a secret of Mine ive Kept Silent Inside, .. the full Events on the Night, i Slept for the Final Time .. .. my Insomnia .. got me laying in bed Wide Eyed .. .. Couldn't sleep .. so i went for a late Night Drive .. Seatbelt at my Right Side .. figured i Wouldnt Need It Suddenly the car crashed .. face was Cut And Bleedin I must of Fallen Asleep Then .. lost control of the wheel & collided with another car .. whose driver was killed .. The young female died instantly .. and so, Story Goes .. she was looking for her husband .. he hadnt Come Home .. It was ME she was looking for on that Fateful Night .. .. It was MY lack of sleep that finally killed my Faithful Wife .. .. the Pain Inside's been Hell, & though our family Records Scratched .. .. There's nothing id love more than to get a Second Chance .. R.I.P Kate Wanslow 1975 - 2003 |
Wow, that was a nice piece Cam, I liked how you set it up, all the thoughts, and then you got to how you killed a woman, and it was you wife looking for you, nice flow and structure, nice vocab, proper usage, just an all around good piece, cam, you never dissapoint.
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excellent work baron, the images on this were vivid, the vocab was strong, the multis were constant and were placed, the style switch and the story at the end were both original and well-written.
have some props **hands em over** and keep posting. |
fuck you Masta C
i'll get the links tommorrow .. leave the thread alone .. |
this was really great stuff. i really enjoyed it. i wouldn't mind reading more of your shit.
p.s. if you really is an insomiac, so am i. we have something in common. |
lol..alright.
but this was real nice here, i really enjoyed the read...one of the things in this i liked was the multies they were real nice, liked those....the images were there, nicely done...the vocab was real good like in all of your pieces...structure was good as well. Enjoyed the read. |
I'm feein' the flow no doubt, vocab was precise, structure was good, I'm feelin' the topic too, real deep shit. Had tight multis and shit, keep killin' it cuz.
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yo Baron this shit wus nice good flow n multis
structure wus good lines were set up good wus nice the way u go in an out of thoughts... If you meant the one part of friends you used to have how u wished u could have a second chance to chill wit dem n make the dayz u had the best you could possibly have wit them n a nice bangin way to leave them like a badass party or sumthin im feelin ya sometimes i just sit there n think about old friends be it online or real life that really were GOOD friends and how i wished i could talk to them or chill wit them again... people that really meant somethin in my life like they wus almost family to me.... if thats what you meant im feelin this yo.... .... By da way check out my open mic... Burnin CD'z Peac3________________-------------------------________............. |
Dope shit Baron. this is Naveed from over on RNR. Mainly a fuckin open mic head on that site. This whole shit was on point from concept to flow, dope read homie. Peep my collab with Ias i posted will ya? good looks.
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^ Wordness. Naveed Dreams, From RTM ? I'll reply to it tommorrow .. it's late here ..
cheers for reading. = ) |
yup, the Nave.
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Dope.
* Goes to fetch links. * |
consistant flow....great multis.......deep ass story.......this was a complete drop...everything about this shit was nice....
keep da hott shit flowin |
I really felt that. gave me goosbumps all over. Great post. will be looking out for more of the same. keep doing your stuff
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ey yo Baron this shit got a good flow n multis
structure was good lines were set up good wus nice the way u go in an out of thoughts... |
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