Feedback would be appreciated
 

This is my battle against PostMan...can somebody please explain to me on how I lost this battle.

Imma disperse of ya prewrittens...like a vulture to flesh
Ur shits played but im like Wendys...Now tell me whos fresh!
Checked his audios...played punches...even the verse he posted after me had sum played punches...Wendy's quote "Always fresh".

Ur first loss on rapbattles...is wat u now will achieve,
I got X in the ballet boxes...but u cry n grieve......
...cuz ur still beggin on gettin.........X box live for free!
Notice...X-in-ballot-boxes=x-box...He posted in Emcee Interaction asking on how to get Xbox live for me.

U musta typed ur verse in french...cuz im deeply fryin it
But u decoded n posted in english...while decodin aliases!
He posted in Emcee Interaction sayin he was exposin aliases

Postin tracks in ya sig...claminin they get radio playin...
Only exposure u ever get...Is on the whack music station!
In his sig...it says sumthin like..."Go here for track that gets radio play"

U can call me Barry Bonds...Im stealin ya fan-cliche (like a group)
cuz Its Home-where-ur-Runnin...from my Giant-like hits!
Notice...Barry Bonds steals a lot of bases...He has the home run record...and he plays for the giants

Ur name the postman...but now that name is bein revoked...
Once I drop my verse...ur guh run cuz ur to scared to post!
Rippin his name...

The voters say that I had no personals...and that my verse was basic...I didn't think I needed an insane amount of multies when I had tons of wordplay...


Heres his verse
"No avatar selected" so i cant clown ya face,
but lyrically you lackin, cant keep up the paYce,
and if your text is wack, the chances of audio bein good,
is as likey as YungP stayin in the hood,
dont be fooled, hes not hot, "hes mild",
i'll shit on ya writtin, and wipe my ass with ya "keystyle",
ya first to dickride, So you should know how cum "taste",
but Everyone knows the ones on FRONTLINE are the first to take shots to the "face",
true at text im wack, but at audio im considered "dope",
you on the other hand are like bobs friends, Just no "hope"
garbage is more than enuogh credit than you deserve
this is my first battle, but like they say, First come first serve


Can I get sum hoenst feedback plz...kinda stumped on how I lost here....heres the actual thread...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102779

i didnt read this...im not being a dick but this dont belong here

post this in open mic and people will tell you what happened and such

Wackness Emergency Center
Get and give help/tips

It belongs here. If he was askin idf he did good then its OM but he needs to know what he did wrong

Your punches are misses. Your verse is boring to me. Add really dissing punches that'll get people to chuckle

Word...I gont about half way through your verse and I knew why you lost...you need to work on your delivery...It's not what you say...it's how you say it slugger.

Not bangin on you but the whole thing needs a little work especially ya punches. note that his shit wasn't that hot either

so break sum stuff down for me then...like how can i reword my punches so they hit harder.

First work on your rhyme scheme and a better structure. Cause they didnt fit each other in this case. That was the ONLY big problem. Otherwise, just work on creativity and wit. Cause you got to have people wanting the next punch. not like," Damn, why did I say I would return the favor. " Those would probably be best to work on. Go to the crew forum and I will talk to you about somthing from there... Aight hommie, you can only go up.