Lyr-attic Keystyle
 

Mezmerize - school sux
payce - toilet paper
s.r. - lifestyles

Yo.....
Nobody can really get at me at all
One step equals gat claps and they fall
Phat raps is my call, stack stats when I ball
Smack Shaq into awe, On smack crack and all
The drugs show, thugs other worlds and such
But no hugs though, bugs mothers gurls and slugs
My slow flow tugs on your shirts and mugs
Lay those hoes like rugs so the dirt won't budge
Game like flames to melt skirts off like fudge
Fame knows names so what was felt it hurts to judge
Every rappers word i smudge, blurred in suds
Wash they fuses so they burstin' duds, rehearse the months
12 at a time my crew curses cunts.........
Sit'em down and tell'em work wit blunts
Hope you know we act like jerks for fun
Outta all the things you can do the worst is Run
Cause first I cum,
All about battles so you know theres merks ta come.....
You could be the first I sonn, outta my spurts of stunts

uppn........feedback punks...................

ehh.. this was aiight, a good read... your structure was ok.. you had some good multies and ok creativity.. overall good work keep it up...

Peace

EEEEeeeerrr... i always forget to include the rating.. anyways i rate this peice a 6.5 out of 10

Peace

was o.k...you need to make your rhymes more complex and with more depth...expadn your vocab and try to rhyme words rather than just using the obvious rhyme, you know, think about what it is you want to say before you start to rhyme it all....

Structure was aight, flow was decent...add more internals though...but it was alrite...keep it up.

can you return the favour..?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102671

Yeah, with a 19-3 record, I thought you were gonna rip this track.... Add some bigger vocab to your writing.... Flow was great though....

Flow was good. But wasnt really feeling the verse. Have to make it more appealing, by droping more emotions. It was a good verse, just didnt make me go WOW or nothing . No hate. Your good keep doing yuur thing.

Please return he fevour
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=103155

this was aight, flow was cool, should of came wit some vocab..
6/10

this was a tight flow i liked it it was smooth and pretty ill over all 7/10 nice shit

Rythmic basicly said it...

Bit there aint nuthin rong with it.....i mean, hes only saying what peeps are lookin for on RB....I mean i been here now for over a year now and iv seen that people always expect deep inner style and a wide vocab....

Nice drop all the same...Im Damn Pissed at how peeps can write short lines like that....I try so hard, but it wont happen lol...

holla at mine...peaece

yea it was keystyle so just off the top.......thanx fellas.........
upppn.............i'll peep out ya'llz shit

it was ok for a keystyle... flow was good too but topic and focus was kind of off... it was alright... structure was okay too... vocab needs some help..

6.9/10

Return the favor please? Peep "Drink Liquor From a Chalice"

thanks


Peace.