RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   ..Alcoholic.. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=103202)

- k ! L L z - 01-02-04 01:14 PM

..Alcoholic..
 
:gfy:



Stuck, Im Trying to Be Drunk so Droppa Buck..
Yell at the Sky, Just so My Shit-Talk is-Up..Fuck
My Clover's Outta Luck. Choice to Drink-Or-Not
Fam Or Brew. Tell Me What Kinda Man Are You?
With-Drawin Puke-in cant Live Wittout a Can-or-2
Beatin-ya Wife what I'm Speakin is Right, I Might..
Have Got you Finally Thinkin Tonight. But i Might
cause you To Drink-More While you Think More..
A women Who Loves Brew. Men Think - Whore..
Group Homes and Jail For a Human Addiction, Listen
alcohoism is Sickinin. But I'm Stuck. Did i Mention?.




drop some Honest Feed-Back. This was A key-Style Open Mic

Menik 01-02-04 02:16 PM

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

LM 01-02-04 02:30 PM

This was pretty good.
Vocab and flow was good throughout the peice and 99% of the structure was spot on.
I'd improve it by tryin to relate with alcoholics more

Overall good drop 8/10

Echo 01-02-04 02:59 PM

it was a good piece. i think it was kind of simple, but the topic was really good. a lot of people can relate to this. sturcture was off the hook. keep writing.

- k ! L L z - 01-02-04 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Masta C
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.




My Feed-Back’s :
Tha Shadow.. http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=102983
Too Easy..http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=103078
SkiddZ..http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=101649




Uppin For My Verse...
Where's My drinkaz At?..

lyrical_killer 01-02-04 03:46 PM

I thought this peice was ok it needs to be longer though that was only like 10 or 8 lines or sumthin ............. keep freestylin,.

Dialekts 01-02-04 09:38 PM

this was cool, should of been longer..but it's still nice...topic was cool structure was nice, so the flow went well..

FanTa ZeE 01-03-04 05:57 AM

good freestyle but how about adding more lines and thought..flow was spot on and structure was ok..

Dev 01-03-04 10:37 AM

yeah i quite liked this...good key...the title put me off a bit..bit played...but took a good slant at it...nicely structured for most...flow seemed good.....not bad..nice....pZ

- k ! L L z - 02-18-04 02:36 AM


upping this Old shit.
Want Feed.

Goby 02-18-04 02:47 AM

good job on this. the flow was good, the word use was good and
so was the style considering it was unique. however there were
times I had to re-read the lines because they confused me
and some still do. but then again poetry is vast and it can
be written in any way, shape, and form and author pleases
so anyway. good drop. hit mines up in return please.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:29 PM.