Mutation
 

Wow, ok i haven't wrote poetry for a hellova long time, and i'm in a poetry tourney on anova site, so technically, i'm gonna get murked..i can't think of anything at the moment! Dah! I got so caught up in open mic, but this is just me practicing..tell me what you think....peace


Shattered mirrors plague my memory, my reflection torn and bleeding,
Taunting me for the turmoil i have unleashed, i sit alone in a cramped and dusty cell,
Eating at my soul, reminiscing with myself, segregated, eliminated from the society of man,
Injected like an animal with hoards of illegal drugs, i hear them laughing, teasing my mistakes,
What have i done? How did i mutate to the monster i've become?

I had everything within my grasp, money was no object, but for one man i sacrificed it all,
Then he betrayed me, and i felt as though that was punishment enough,
No prison can compare to the pain recieved for my heartless crime,
Only me, myself and the time, though i feel its at an end, the clock stuck in a moment.
Suicidal, spiralling downwards on the road to the depths of hell, where depressions farmed,
What have i done? how did i mutate into the monster i've become?

erm pleez, replies...anyone?

been forever since i seen your words or been on this site. Had to cheak up on ya hun. Great peice. Yea i have to had a change, a mutation to adapt tot his world. again great peice was felt deep in cuz this is how i am now. peace hun, much love

thanks JT hunny, i know you aint been here in a while, but then again, neither have I, i'll email you or you email me...find out how your lifes treating you....happy new year

feed anyone?

I dunno why... but I get this odd feeling you're some sorta Tupac fan. I think, I just get that vibe. Maybe I'm psychic?

Ooohkay, as for you peice. Hm... Not sure what kind of monster you mutated into. I'm imagining a green mud monster locked in a prison cell of some sort, but that's just my imagination.

The first verse was the best, and the worse. It was the best because it had so much pain described in it, but I didn't have any idea of where it was going. And the second verse, it gave me an idea of where you were going in what you were writing, but I didn't feel it went any where. But there were emotions, and a backstory, and that's what really showed through on this peice.

~Irenic~

i'm confused...i really have gone downhill in poetry haven't i? lol oh well, i'll wrack my brain for ideas and yeah....worlds biggest Tupac fan baybee!

girl that was a nice drop....




i was really feelin it cuz thatz how i feelll so yea im wit you on this one..

my favorite lines were

Eating at my soul, reminiscing with myself, segregated, eliminated from the society of man,




dat was hella nice damn.....loll..yo words are talkin 2 me


Keep it up....ya stuff preety good 2 me....ill look forwward to reading more of your poetry u have found a Fan in me.lol

hollla front

To be fair, it wasn't one of your best peices I felt. But you can do better. I've seen it.

This was a good piece, I agree that you can do better, I've seen your work in the past and this seems different than your other work. But I do like it. I can strongly relate to the entire thing. I have changed, in some ways for the good, and some ways for the bad. Therefor it brought me in with each line. Overall, I liked it. Keep it up.