mean streets of l.a
 

replied to:
liba dee
rule
billy


circus in town, so you got to get down deep like in yo sleep/
nightamares creep but make you see, life after death no thang/
just anotha chapter in this universe, mysterious like a curse/
voodoo spells dispurse cuz i got da anicdote to cut dat rope/
gaging in the ghetto, movin fast as I push da peddle to da metal/
yeah, this ryme is lethal wit no weapon brotha, use a rubber/
take time, taking a shit like danny glover, i be here to discover/
new things wit dis ryming and mountain climbing, stallone shining/
dawn of man is comin to a new address, yes dis worl is a mess/
pretty and innocent, i make a statement by spillin blood, guess/
whats next, nothing in distress, fast quickness like da flash/
last thing i got is a middle finga at da crash unit, hide a stash/
deep in my nut sack, yeah, its da snake comin wit a track/
time to join the revolution or else get cracked and sacked/
like a fucking pretty boy quarterback, i'm on da attack/
i'm out with a message to understand, veins tight for da smak/
i'm here to kill da beat dat be wack, radio is a sell out mack/
time to take over da airwaves as i get fully loaded and packed/

thought it was a lil choppy...it seemed like the scheme changed a few times... some of it was going nicely, but some lines seemed basic and jus knocked the whole thing....but sometimes the flow really got going....oversll not a bad drop...but some improvments are needed to smoothen it out....pZ

Yeah this was ok i thought...your structure was good in this....you had alright flow, it got off at points though and others it was on real well, keep working on that....your vocab was alright, it could be up'd though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

some lines didn't rhyme like normal like your first couple of lines and overall it was good and I liked it but I think you can spit alot betta homeboy, juss keep spitting

thanks homies, i absorb your replies as tips. i like it

i like how it read, good flow but went a little off topic in parts but not bad at all