My mental abstract...
 

Wax this metapmorphosis as I persist to insist for innocent bliss..
Defined through this vision sprawled out.. reminisc..
Spark a newp and let lexicons twist..
Til I knot up your throat swallowing all o' this..
Paintin images like krylon bombs on city landscapes in NYC.. Beauty through chaos and perpetualizin' my manifest destiny..
A fist and a can scream let me be, let me be..
Longin for truth beyond reach and comprehension..
I clock time and rip through this fourth dimension just to ease the tension I mention..
Facing a future with no security or a pension..
Dispensin' metaphors on all fours as I drop to these floors..
To see eye to eye with those who proceed to ignore..
That the future they seek exists nevermore, nevermore..
The raven is knockin and death stand in the door..
Sickle gleamin'.. as he smiles I'm screamin'..
God save my soul from this internal demon..
Like a bomb on my heart and I can't see the timer..
Tell me how to disable the primer..
I'm scared to death to inhale my next breath..
Savor each one cause I can't know how many are left..
Each day is a gift that I still can't unwrap..
Because the puzzle pieces are missin' and I can't find a map.. there's just no headin' back..
I'm lost in the maze of my mental abstract...

Replied to-Masta C
YJ
Katz.Frost

..Uppin..

thought ya flow started to really getting going, but then would stop and start again...probably cos the transistion to the next ryhme wasn't smoothe enough...also the syllables, could be evened out a bit to help it..... but other than that i liked it... scheme was good for most.... vocab went well.... yeah decent drop....pZ..

..^..Thanks for the reply 'Dev'....
....anyone else.....


``````Vote on this Battle``````````

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104404

I thought it was good. Structure was off a little bit. I thought the flow was good. You had some really good vocab. Did a good job of staying on topic. Keep up.

:cussing: WTF???...:cussing:
..Still Uppin...reply goddamn it!!!!:cussing:


~~~~~Go Vote on this Battle~~~~
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...709#post1058709

:cussing: Reply!!!!!!!!:cussing:

^^
Hm... I didn't really get your concept, the vocab might have been TOO good for me, lol.

But what the kid said up their, your flow would get going then stop....get going then stop... it was annoying, try to keep a consistent flow.

Other then that I saw good multi's, keep it up


Hit my peice up.....Writers Block

decent piece..flow choppy...good vocab...keep droppin..see what you got comin dawg...

:cussing: 55 Views and 5 replys...:cussing: